Episode 1: A New Era

Me: Come here, Nathan, I need to talk to you.  So, you know how Daddy does his work to make money?  Well, now I'm going to do some work to make money, but right here in our house.  So it's important that you don't bother me while I'm on the phone, okay?

Nathan: But you never did any work for money before ...

It felt like a dialogue out of every 1970s sitcom that did the very special episode called "Mommy Gets a Job." Following scene after scene depicting the pitfalls of a woman trying to juggle work and motherhood (Nobody picked up Bobby after Cub Scouts!  Why are we having frozen TV dinners again?!), the woman stands in her kitchen late at night and contemplates quitting her paying job, but says, "It just feels so good to finally be working." 

"Well, I think we can all find ways to help pitch in more around here," says the supportive dad. 

Cut to a scene where the whole family is standing around an organized chart/calendar setup.  Mom, in her smart polyester business suit from Sears, is giving directives about who needs to do what where, who will provide transportation, and what equipment needs to be brought.  Everybody's smiling ... cue schmaltzy music ... end credits ... and we're left feeling like all of America has ushered in a new era along with the fictional TV family. 

Now, I could obviously spend all day writing a treatise analyzing how much progress we, as a society, have made in terms of equal distribution of traditional "women's work."  And of course the division of household chores and childcare tasks varies from family to family.  But if I had to write one sentence to bottom-line this most complicated issue, I would say that while we have come a long way in terms of men playing equal roles in the running of a household (and I base this entirely on the fact that my husband no longer assumes I'm the only one who knows where the grocery store is), the reality is that women are still the ones largely carrying the burden of the work-versus-family dilemma. 

But the intent of this post wasn't to write a retrospective of 1970s-era television, or to analyze how far we've come since the days when a woman's place was in the home (and I should note that my entire understanding of those days is based on 1950s-era television).  I really just meant to write about my very first day of working motherhood. 

Caveat #1: I actually did work outside the home, first part-time and then full-time, until Nathan was 20 months old.  So this post is really just about my second wave of working motherhood.

Caveat #2: This new wave is really just a very small wave, doing freelance work from home a couple of hours a day.  So I don't mean to sound overly-dramatic, like I think I'm tackling the equivalent of an 80-hour-a-week high-powered executive job, Murphy Brown-style. 

But it isn't really about the hours, so much as it's about the momentous shift that seems to have happened in my mind during the last 48 hours.  I don't know if I can officially say that I've gone from SAHM to PT WAHM mom based on two hours of freelance work a day, but in my mind I've gone from Giant Schlub Who Can Piss Away Time All Day, to Vaguely Responsible Person Who Has to Juggle Professional and Household Responsibilities. 

I'm not gonna lie.  It kinda feels awesome. 

Except yesterday I maybe should have looked at those email attachments before I made that fish marinade.  And then already I've had the situation where the kid has a major meltdown while I'm on an important business call. 

These would be the modern-day equivalents of Somebody Forgot to Pick Up Bobby From Cub Scouts! and Why Are We Having Frozen TV Dinners Again?! 

Because nobody names their kid Bobby anymore, and I sort of not-so-secretly hope Nathan never wants to be in Cub Scouts, because I don't like their policy on not allowing gay leaders.  Plus nobody calls frozen dinners "TV dinners," we just call them "Lean Cuisine," and they're more for work lunches than family dinners. 

Times have changed, but some challenges are still with us.

But challenges notwithstanding, it feels so good to get back to a professional capacity.  My brain feels a little dusty in terms of multitasking, but as far as the actual work is concerned, it feels like I never left.  I'm glad it came back to me so quickly, because my biggest fear was that any amount of time I spent outside of my field would cause a huge career setback in this era where technology changes so quickly.  And I guess it's too soon to really determine that I won't experience any setbacks, but I'm just saying that as soon as you jump in, it all comes back to you really quickly. 

Now, all sitcoms end with that fun, light-hearted part that happens after the commercials, when the final credits roll.  I think my TV-loving friend Lenore said they were called "tags."  I guess the purpose of tags is to get you to stick around through the final set of commercials, which is probably not as much of a concern in this age of DVRs.  And, in fact, the tags are often the parts that the DVR cuts off.

Anyway, my tag is about Leia.  See, Leia is the only creature in the whole world who absolutely, unequivocally supports my return to paid work.  Well, specifically, Leia wants me to work at home.  Leia likes any change that means I'm going to be home more, meeting all her petting and cat food needs.  When I had my full-time job, I worked from home on Wednesdays, and so Wednesdays were Leia's favorite day of the week.  She knew I was ripe for distraction, and so she would take every possible opportunity to rub up against me.  Also, if she was really lucky, I would spread out large 11x17 papers all over the floor, and sitting on papers is one of Leia's very favorite things!  (Unfortunately for Leia, but fortunately for the earth, the editing is becoming more and more digital, so there isn't as much paper lying around.) 

And so, I look forward to what will hopefully be many hours at my roll-top desk, sleeping cat at my feet, fish marinating in the refrigerator, schmaltzy music playing in the background, credits rolling ...

Well, I look forward to the cat part, at least. 

 

Leia says, "Hooray working mothers!"  I considered posing her with some sort of prop that symbolizes working motherhood, but what would that be, exactly?  A breast pump?  A Crock Pot?