And the Hits Keep on Coming

Okay, I promise this is my last post about bad reality TV. For awhile. Unless I catch something really interesting tonight.

Apparently all my regular shows are on some kind of break before May sweeps. So, as a result, I got sucked into watching more stupid basic cable reality programming last night.

I turned on the TV at 8:45. My usual "favorite," Hoarders, was going to come on at 9:00 on TLC, so I just sat there and watched the last 15 minutes of Extreme Couponing. I had seen commercials for this program, commercials that said critics were calling the show something like "strangely compelling." Compelling? It's a show about coupons.

On this segment we saw a guy named Nathan, who was trying to put together care packages for the troops on a very limited budget, so he had gathered up all these coupons and sale fliers to go shopping. We see him going to the store and his first purchase is Vitamin Water, which is on the "10 for $10" rack. However, he has also managed to gather up 40 coupons for 50 cents off, which the grocery store will double so that the Vitamin Waters are free.

The shopping goes on like this ... 50 Chef Boyardee single-serve pasta cups, 20 toothpastes, 45 candy bars. And then at the end, in a segment so dramatic that they had to cut to commercial to prolong the suspense, Couponer Nathan was at the checkout sweating it out that his calculations would be accurate. This is what passes for drama on TLC? You just know the big-wigs at the network are just praying for some more Jon and Kate drama.

So, spoiler alert, it turns out Nathan's calculations were inaccurate, and his total is actually $67 after coupons, which was $17 over his budget. He is legitimately sad, like on the level of sadness you might display if your puppy ran away.

But then, in a last-minute twist, the checker notices a pile of coupons that didn't get scanned! The day is saved!

"I'm glad she noticed that pile of coupons, because I probably wouldn't have," says a relieved Nathan in a confessional.

OMG why am I watching this?!

Anyway, in the end, Nathan gets like $1,000 worth of groceries for $10, and he and his friends make care packages for the troops. Now, I think we can all agree that providing comfort to our selfless troops is a noble goal indeed, and also a really good use of coupons. There was no particular specification of products or brands that needed to go into the care packages, so the coupons can dictate what you buy. Sure you want some type of candy in there, but if there's a coupon for Skittles, you buy Skittles.

But how would this extreme couponing work for a real family trying to make real meals? I try to cut out the occasional coupon when it's for a product I already intend to buy, but I certainly couldn't buy everything using coupons. I have other factors to consider when choosing my groceries, such as health concerns and the necessity of particular ingredients in a recipe. It's not like I'm going to say, "Tonight for dinner we're having Chef Boyardee single-serving cups with a side of candy bars and a Vitamin Water to drink. You can use toothpaste as a condiment."

(Not to mention, am I the only one who realizes that it's often cheaper to buy the generic brand than to buy a name-brand with a coupon? So if you're willing to buy the generic brand -- which I'm not for things like shampoo or tampons -- coupons aren't that useful.)

After Extreme Couponing, I watched about 15 minutes of Hoarders, where the guy on the show was also named Nathan. I am sad that I gave my kid a name that is apparently popular with basic cable reality weirdos. Remember when I also realized there was a kid named Nathan on I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant?