SuperIma Sunday Check-In

My blog friend Leigh Ann has a weekly blog carnival called SuperIma Sunday Check-In. Ima means "mom" in Hebrew, so SuperIma = SuperMom. Like all of us, Leigh Ann says that she doesn't feel like a SuperMom, although I would say that anybody who has three kids ages 3 and under is a SuperMom. (And she cooks inexpensive, tasty meals several nights a week, whereas I'm all We're having cereal for dinner.)

Anyway, so Leigh Ann's carnival is about giving yourself a break, and remembering to do something for yourself in the midst of caring for others. To quote her SuperIma Sunday Check-In inaugural edition:

Just tell us what you're going to do for yourself, and maybe what you're going to let slide a little bit.
You deserve it. And I support you.

So, I was going to do this carnival last week, and then I realized it was the kind of thing where you have to plan in advance and set a goal, so I had to set the goal last week and wait until this week to write about it.

And I still think I kind of screwed it up.

The thing is, I think I kind of let things slide all the time. Like, for example, on Friday I could easily have put together some kind of simple dinner or even served leftovers, but instead I picked up Chinese food on the way home from Nathan's ice skating.

And I have gone four days without cleaning up my complete shitstorm of a living room, where, you guys, there is literally a large amount of garbage (like, actual trash) just sitting on the floor.

But, I also think there is a difference between letting things slide and being okay with letting things slide. I think the idea behind Leigh Ann's carnival is accepting that you can't do it all, which is an empowering and healthy attitude. Whereas I let things slide and I beat myself up over it, thinking that I should be able to do it all. I end the day exhausted and mad and frustrated by my general craphole of a house.

So, this week I didn't do well on the "let things slide" part of the challenge. I think, at least for me, I'm not going to be successful at letting things slide until I accept that it's okay to let things slide. I was thinking about what I should let slide for next week, and I got all upset. Allowing myself to leave things in a cluttered state will not be good for my mental health, so I'm not going to set a goal about letting cleaning slide. And I think we're all more relaxed and happier when I plan meals and cook them at home, so I'm not going to set a goal about letting the cooking slide.

But there is one thing I think I beat myself up unnecessarily for. I don't put away the clean laundry. Never, ever, ever. Every single day I say I will put away the laundry, and of course that never happens. I'm more or less on top of washing and folding the laundry, but then I just leave all the clothes in the basement and go down there and grab whatever Nathan and I are going to wear that day. Which, I mean really, is okay. We're always wearing clean clothes. It's not like I go out into the world each day and people say, "Wow, it looks like they are wearing clothes that never made it back into the drawer or closet after being washed."

So this week's "letting slide": putting away the laundry.

As for taking time to do something for myself, my goal for the week was to spend more time outdoors. As I said yesterday, winter and cabin fever will drive you insane.

You know what I think is kind of weird? There is always this sort of aura of comfort and awesomeness surrounding the concept of home. We have sayings like Home Sweet Home and Home is where the heart is. Dorothy wanted to go home, and so did Michael Bublé. Most financial experts will tell you that a home is the best investment you can make. In fact, isn't owning your own home the American dream? There's no place like home.

And yet, in the dead of January, all we can say is, "We have to get out of this house!" I find my home to be the most comforting and frustrating place on the planet. Homes, like the people in them, can be the source of your highest highs and your lowest lows.

So, in an attempt to bring more highs and fewer lows, my goal was to get outdoors a little bit more this week. I did okay on this. Nathan and I went out a couple of times in our snow gear and shoveled/walked around. But I think I would have been happier taking a walk alone. I kind of love the shock of the cold, and the joy of the contrasting warmth when you get back indoors. It would have been nice to go out on a walk alone.

This upcoming week, I'm not going to have the same goal. It's going to be a bit of a crazy, atypical week in our house. I have rehearsals Monday through Wednesday, and then Thursday I have two shows and Friday I have one. It's going to be a crazy week of scrambling to have dinner ready right at 5:00, jumping through hoops to find childcare for Nathan, finding something to wear for this show that doesn't make me look hideously fat, making myself a cat-ears headband ... you know, the usual.

So, because of the craziness of this week, my "do something for myself goal" is actually going to be about time management. I'm going to plan out a schedule for the day in advance, and write it down. Of course I always have a loose schedule based on whatever activities we have for the day, but I tend to get frustrated by the blocks of free time and all the stuff I feel like I should be doing.

So, to sum up:

Let slide: putting away laundry (and being okay with that)
For myself: plan out day's schedule on paper

I know my own particular goals may not be all that interesting to you. But I hope that in writing about them, I have inspired you to think about your own lives, about what you need to do to make yourself happier. So often in life we go along living the frustrating status quo, assuming that this is the way it has to be. And then we step back and say, Why?! Will the house explode or the world come to an end if I don't do x, y, and z?

There are realities in life that you cannot change or control. And working to accept those realities is a whole separate challenge. But there are many, many areas of life where you can make some changes. And I am grateful to Leigh Ann for helping me sit down and start to think about what those changes should be.