The One Thing I'm Not Worried About

I wrote this post to be cross-posted at my friend Farrah's blog, DuPage Mamas.  So this post contains a lot of introductory information that you already knew about me, because it's also intended for a whole other audience. 

Right off the bat, there's something you should know about me: I'm a worrier.  Always have been, probably always will be.  When I was a kid, my parents would go to my parent-teacher conferences, and every teacher -- from kindergarten through high school -- would say the same thing about me: She's such a good student, but she worries too much.  

I come by worrying genetically. I hail from a long line of worriers.  We're excellent at worrying.  It's what we do.  It's our way of coping with unknown situations, preparing for the unforeseen circumstances and what-ifs of life, in a way that's, you know, a totally pointless waste of energy. 

You can tell me about the futility of worrying all you want.  Worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair--it's a way to pass the time, but it doesn't get you anywhere.  Worrying about things that haven't happened yet is like paying interest on money you didn't borrow.  Look, I get it.  There's no point in worrying.  But I'm still going to be a world-class worrier. 

And there is no greater arena than parenting in which to excel at worrying.  A positive pregnancy test is like the starting pistol to a nine-month worry-a-thon.  What about the time I cleaned out the cat's litterbox before I knew I was pregnant?  OMG the restaurant accidentally put a chunk of unpasteurized cheese in my salad!  What if I go to the grocery store and come into contact with a kid who has Fifth Disease?  And on and on and on. 

Then baby comes out, completely unscathed in spite of that deli meat you ate at Subway, but the worrying is just beginning.  Why is my baby eight weeks and three days old, but he still can't bat at an object with closed fists like So-and-So's baby can?  Am I giving him adequate daily tummy time?  Why did he only gain three ounces since his last checkup OMG my breastmilk is inadequate I am such a failure and waaaaaiiiiiiiill.  


And the kid gets older, your parenting journey continues, and yadda, yadda, yadda ... you're still consumed with worry.  You worry about your child's health, as well as your own health and your spouse's health.  You worry that you're not strict enough, or too strict, or squelching his creativity, or letting him be too creative, or not playing with him enough, or playing with him too much.  You worry about potty-training, and sleep-training, and whether or not he eats enough vegetables.  And all this worrying pales in comparison to the terrifying late-night irrational fears that creep into your mind: What if something tragic happens to my child? 

But in spite of all the worrying that goes into an average day as a parent, there is one major area about which I do not worry:

I am not worried about preparing my son for kindergarten.

Let me explain.  My only child, Nathan, is four years old.  He will start kindergarten in the fall of 2012.  Right now he's headed into his second year of preschool at a park district school that I picked because it was nearby and reasonably-priced.  I mention this not-so-rigorous preschool selection process to illustrate the fact that I was in no way concerned about choosing a preschool that would lay the foundation for his academic success. 

It's not that I'm certain he will be successful academically.  And it's not like he's some kind of genius.  While, as his mother, I can't help but recognize that he excels in some areas of intelligence, I don't labor under the delusion that he's any more academically advanced than most other kids.  He can recognize most letters of the alphabet, and he can write his name.  He doesn't have a firm grasp of phonics, and he can't read yet.  I think, for the most part, he has picked up an average amount of academic knowledge from his two-day-a-week preschool and from some children's TV shows. 

Yes, I let him watch television.  Some days he probably watches too much television.  And I'm not balancing that TV time by doing workbooks or lessons with him.  Workbooks aren't really his thing, and if I'm being honest, they're not really my thing either.

So, I've got a TV-watching, workbook-averse child.  How could I possibly not be worried about his level of kindergarten preparation, or lack thereof?

I'm not worried because I know my son is being raised in an environment that will prepare him for kindergarten.  And I'm willing to bet that your children are being raised in the same type of academically-rich environments. 

You might think that my attitude toward kindergarten preparation makes me either (a) lazy, (b) overly-optimistic, (c) naive, or (d) All of the above, especially given today's academic climate of high-stakes standardized testing and No Child Left Behind.  Well, first of all, clearly my ability to phrase my thoughts in the (a), (b), (c), (d) outline format indicates that standardized testing is a high priority for me.  But also, it is the academic standards themselves that provide benchmarks to reassure me that my child is being adequately prepared for kindergarten. 

Let's look at some of these benchmarks, taken from the Illinois Early Learning Standards. 

• Language Arts, Benchmark 1.A.ECa: Understand that pictures and symbols have meaning and that print carries a message. Has your child ever seen the Golden Arches and recognized them as a McDonald's restaurant?  If yes, then your child has the important pre-reading skill of understanding that pictures and symbols have meaning.  I'm serious. 
• Language Arts, Benchmark 1.A.ECb: Understand that reading progresses from left to right and top to bottom. I'm guessing that you take your child to the library and/or read to him/her, so your child probably understands the whole left-to-right, top-to-bottom conventions of documents written in English.  Really, it is the teaching of concepts this basic that constitute kindergarten preparation.  
• Language Arts, Benchmark 1.B.ECb: Begin to develop phonological awareness by participating in rhyming activities. Now, I will say that I have a background in education and can understand the meaning of fancy jargon like "phonological awareness," but really all it means is having the understanding that words are composed of sounds.  CUH-AAA-TUH spells cat.  There, you have it.  Now all you have to do is encourage your kid to kid to think up rhyming words, and/or read your kid books that rhyme, and you're helping him/her develop phonological awareness. 
• Language Arts, Benchmark 1.C.ECa: Retell information from a story. I'm guessing your kid can tell stories, over and over again, ad nauseum.  Congratulations, you're suffering through that seemingly pointless oral drivel to give your kid a leg up academically. 
• Mathematics, Benchmark 6.A.ECa: Use concepts that include number recognition, counting and one-to-one correspondence.  Have your kid count out apples as you put them in a bag at the grocery store.  Done.
• Mathematics, Benchmark 6.C.ECa: Explore quantity and number.  Okay, so the other day at the Dunkin' Doughnuts drive-thru, my son wanted to order 5 Munchkins.  He's very particular as to what varieties of Munchkins he gets, so I asked him to tell me which ones he wanted.  I held up 5 fingers to indicate the number of Munchkins, then put fingers down as he listed each type of doughnut.  He realized that he could not have 2 jelly, 2 chocolate, and 2 powdered, because that was more than 5.  See?  We were exploring quantity and number at Dunkin' Doughnuts.  (Oh, I didn't mean doughnuts, I meant fruit.  Organic fruit.) 
• Mathematics, Benchmark 7.A.ECa: Demonstrate a beginning understanding of measurement using non-standard units and measurement words. If you've ever recorded your kid's height on a growth chart on the wall, you've met this standard.  

I could go on and on, but there are several more categories of Benchmarks, and I think you get my point.  You can prepare your child for school by doing everyday activities.   You're probably already doing these activities.


So, let's all take a deep breath and give ourselves a break when it comes to freaking out about education.  We're already doing a great job. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to worrying that my kid has Nature Deficit Disorder.