Saturday, November 5, 2011

Losing Pinterest

Look, I think Pinterest is a great idea.  Your virtual bulletin boards are a wonderful way to organize links to ideas you find online.  If somebody recommends a book, I go over to Amazon and pin that book to my "Books to Read" board.  If I find a great recipe that I want to save, it's certainly easier to put it on my "Recipes" board than to print it out or email it to myself.  And nothing beats a little online pinning of clothing, accessories, and household decor: It's like shopping, only it's free!

But, as you can imagine would happen in a situation where a person has access to the entire contents of the Internet, and the ability to share it with everyone she knows, Pinterest has gotten a little out of control.

I guess I should speak for myself.  Pinterest has gotten a little out of control for me. 

The problem, specifically, stems from the DIY crafts and projects I see on there.  I feel like I can do the DIY crafts and projects. 

I cannot.

This pretty much sums up my Pinterest-based DIY experiences thus far:


I could show you similar Pinterest-to-Shannon Project Comparison photos, but mine aren't as funny in that they don't feature a beloved Sesame Street character. 

But, make no mistake about it, my DIY projects are all metaphorical big blobs of blue frosting with misshapen eyes. 

I've already said a lot about the soap-making failure.  This woman here claimed to have made four quarts of soap from one grated-up bar of soap.  (WARNING: Her blog is one of those annoying blogs that plays music.  Curse you, music-playing blogs.)  Well, you can go read my original post from a few days ago to see an unnecessary thorough analysis of my soap-making, but just as an UPDATE: When I finally poured the soap into the dispensers, Bill insisted upon making what can only be described as an emergency run to Target to buy commercially-produced soap. 

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL.

Another time I tried to make these vases:


This lady promises that all you do is drizzle some acrylic paint inside some old jars, and voila! you have these darling vintage-y looking vases.  Are they not the cutest?!

Now, the reason I screwed up this particular project was that I used latex paint instead of acrylic, and apparently there's a huge difference.  But I had leftover latex paint, whereas I would have had to go buy acrylic paint, and that would sort of destroy the whole "look what I just whipped up with stuff I already had" nature of the project, and also then it would not perfectly match the walls/furniture that the paint was left over from.  Anyway, I did not end up with the adorable collection of coordinating flower receptacles with the vintage pottery aesthetic.  I ended up with a gloppy mess of streaky jars that got paint rings all over my lawn, and also the paint wasn't waterproof (which is kind of an important quality in a vase).  Again, this failure was totally my fault, but the point is I should not even be trying these types of projects, and it's all the fault of Pinterest that they came into my existence.

Perhaps the problem is that suddenly we all have access to random people's DIY blogs, and since we don't have any history with these people, we don't really know if we can trust them to recommend a regular craft that a normal person can do.  But the fact that your friend Suzy repinned it suddenly gives you the impression that you're getting a personal recommendation, even when all Suzy did was click a button.  She didn't actually try the craft herself. 

And I'm not knocking Suzy, seeing as she's a fictional person in a hypothetical example, because I, too, am guilty of pinning projects that turn out to be total flops.  For example, I pinned, and several people subsequently repinned, this tutorial for making your own Moon Sand.  The woman who wrote the tutorial went and bought some colorful, super-fine sand for her project:


But she insisted you could use any sand, so we went out and scooped out 6 cups of grainy, ugly gray sand from our sandbox, dumped in the remaining 2/3 of a box of cornstarch, and added some water.  What resulted was a pile of grainy wet sand.  Nathan just looked at me like, What the hell am I supposed to do with this? and so I dumped it out and then had to go buy another box of cornstarch. 

Then there are the ideas that seem great upon first inspection, until you realize that they actually make no sense.  Like the upcycled jeans pocket magnetic notepad holder:


At first I'm like, "Hey, cute!" (except for those hideous appliques).  But then I realize that I have never, ever had a spare jeans pocket lying around.  All my old jeans are either waiting in the closet for me to lose enough weight to fit into them again, or else given to the Salvation Army.  All Nathan's old jeans are handed down to other kids.  Additionally, I have never had a problem figuring out where to store a notepad and pencil, especially since magnetic notepads aren't all that hard to come by. 

Upcycling is really huge on Pinterest.  I never want to see another craft made of light bulbs or paint chips again.  Aren't paint stores getting frustrated that their entire paint chip supplies are being decimated by intrepid Pinners?  

Also, ideas on Pinterest are almost always described as genius.  This description is an insult to actual geniuses. 


I think there should be a Pinterest drinking game, where you have to do a shot every time somebody uses the word genius, upcycle, or brilliant, until you eventually upcycle your lunch. 

But since I do still love Pinterest, I've created a few new pins of my own.  Feel free to repin!

First, a project in the spirit of upcycling:

 oatmeal canister + 2 cans + egg carton = this

And here's a genius craft idea for kids:

 Print coloring pages off the Internet and have your kid color them.  

And after my DIY debacles, I have to share this brilliant idea:
 
Instead of wasting ridiculous amounts of time and energy making your own toiletries, just go to a store and buy them.  

And everybody loves the sayings:

In conclusion, I'd like to say that my checkered past with Pinterest-based projects will not deter me from trying at least one pinned project for Christmas.  Of course, I'm already way behind.  It's been Christmas on Pinterest for months now. 

2 comments:

Katie said...

Bahahaha I think this is one of your best posts ever. Love it!

Anonymous said...

Definitely awesome! Did you make up the Einstein photo? You should market that!

Adele