I don't even really want to talk about it.
My four-year-old had a two-year-old-style tantrum today in McDonald's.
The morning had started off so well. After a good night's sleep and a walk through the morning routines as per the schedule, Babysitter Danielle came and watched Nathan. His little friend Owen came over because Owen's mom had a conference call. Everyone played nicely. They went to the park until I got back. Then the plan was for Owen and his mom to join us at McDonald's.
And somehow the low blood-sugar or the general transitions of the week added up to a complete meltdown when I told Nathan he had to eat two chicken nuggets before playing on the playground. This is always the policy at McDonald's. I have very few policies in life, but I do have eat two nuggets before you play.
Somehow ... OMG ... TWO CHICKEN NUGGETS was like the worst punishment possible!
You're the worst mom! I hate you!
Now, the thing that's so hard with Nathan is that punishments tend to escalate his misbehavior. So while I did punish him by putting him a time-out, he still yelled I hate you! loudly during the time-out, and when I added more time for that verbal offense, he just got madder and madder.
Complicating things, we had gotten a ride with our friends, so I couldn't just grab my screaming child and leave. My very kind friend who drove us did offer to take us home, but I was feeling so terrible for depriving her child of the playground, churubic as he was sitting there eating his meal without complaint.
I whisked yelling Nathan out of the playground area and into the main part of the restaurant. A stupid but well- meaning stranger offered to watch him for me while I left. Umm, yeah, thanks, but even in my advanced state of anger I was not going to let a stranger watch him. But she just wouldn't let it go. "No, really, you go. I'll take him. I love children," she said.
"No, thank you, that's okay," I grunted while trying to restrain my child.
At that point I had no choice but to take my friend up on her offer to take us home. In anger, Nathan threw his Happy Meal toy in the trash, then proceeded to launch into a full-blown wail about how his toy was in the trash.
Most irrational child ever.
Worst mother ever.
Because this has to be my fault. I don't see any other four-year-olds acting like that. I was so thoroughly embarrassed. I feel like such a failure.
8 comments:
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry - that suuuuucks! Ok, and what a weirdo stranger, by the way. I hate when stuff like that happens...
Yeah, I don't really get what the stranger lady wanted you to do? Leave your kid with her while you did what, went to the bathroom or something? Weird.
But, OK, girl, 4-year-old tantrums are so much worse than 2-year-old tantrums because they know words and shit now. Whenever we have visitors at our house for a few days, usually grandparents or aunts or other family, my 4-year-old eventually loses it and throws a grand-mal tantrum. At Christmas, when he was 3.5, he threw such a tantrum that I found myself pinioning his arms and wiping spittle off my face. He was absolutely batshit insane.
So, you may not see it at McDonalds, but it happens. At least, it does at my house. That is one reason I always bring my own car.
Most irrational child ever? No way.
Worst mother ever? A resounding NO!
Time to relax and soak in a Lush Bath Bomb? Positively yes!
You're not even close to the worst mom ever, I promise. This is your son's way of training you for the frustrations of his teenage years. :)
Also, those who have had children don't think much of a little guy yelling "I hate you!" to his mother when she is clearly trying to discipline him. In fact, when I pass by moms and dads who are dealing w/ a tantrum-y kid, I make sure to smile and nod at them. It's sort of my way of saying, "You GO, girl (or guy). You're doing the right thing!"
Your son is just testing you. The best thing you can do is keep on doing what you're doing (Consistency!) and stay calm while you do it. You're both gonna be fine. :)
Um, you pretty much described my day. I would have to say that I feel like the "worst mother ever" about 4 times a week. Most times I feel like I need a tranquilizer dart to get my kid to calm down from a tantrum. Punishment always seems to escalate the situation as well. As bad as it sounds it's nice to see another child have a meltdown now and then, it makes me feel better, as if I'm not the only "worst mother ever". When Victor (4) has a breakdown I always assume its due to my horrible parenting skills, or the fact that he's an only child, etc.... No matter what I feel like everything he does is a reflection on me. Hang in there, hope tomorrow is better. -emily
Sorry you had a rough day :( Hope you enjoyed a glass of Skinny Girl or some other treat tonight. You are a good mommy!
I can empathize, my four year-old had mega meltdowns today. I agree that these are worse because they have more language now! My gut instinct is to take things away or punish and I have to stop myself because that makes it worse. For us what helps sometimes, only if I am in that calm space is holding him and letting him cry. He will usually say I need to be snuggled when I do this.
Hope tomorrow is a better day.
Wow. I have never actually had anything like this happen (fingers crossed, YET). But I do know one thing. It does not mean you are a bad mother. How do I know this? I'm fairly certain I'm a way shittier mother than you.
Does that help?
<3
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