Happy Nappers?

First of all, if you have children in your house that you allow to watch television, you probably know the title of this post comes from a stuffed toy that is advertised incessantly during children's television programs.  The commercials feature a catchy jingle, that, if you click on that link, you too can have stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

Happy Nappers are sort of like the coveted Pillow Pet, in that they are stuffed things that convert to other things, and in that they are completely stupid but still have some sort of irresistible quality you can't quite put your finger on.  Look at that, a castle turns into a dragon!  A penguin turns into an igloo!  Let's order one!

Naturally, Nathan has done his fair share of begging for the toy, since his general M.O. is to find a way to spend the largest portion of my money that he possibly can.  (Like, seriously, yesterday at the library I suggested we check out a DVD of Rio, and he said, "Great, and then if we like it we can buy it at Target."  WHAT?!  NO!) 

Now, as I said, I find the Happy Nappers kind of adorable and sort of want one myself, but I had to turn this into an Important Parenting Moment and tell Nathan he could earn the Happy Napper through my favorite tool, the incentive chart.  The deal is that if he can get through a whole day without saying "I hate you!" he gets a sticker.  So far he has 3 stickers, and even those were gained through a bit of charitable rule-bending.  I'm guessing by the time he fills up that chart, he'll be past his teenage years and, I hope, no longer interested in Happy Nappers.

But whether we get the thing or not, here's is what I want to tell the kid:

You can't have a Happy Napper, because you won't take a nap. 

Now, Nathan has not taken a nap since he was three, and although I was initially thrown for a loop, I've mostly come to appreciate the positives of having a non-napper.  We no longer have to plan our whole schedule around naptime.  Nathan usually goes to bed more easily than he did in his nap days, and there's never that issue of, Oh crap, he napped until 5:00 and now we have to find a way to tire him out so he'll go to bed.  Plus I think he sleeps later in the mornings than his napping friends do, and if it comes between sleeping in or getting a nap, I'd probably pick sleeping in. 

And honestly, while I do have some fond memories of the nap era (namely of leisurely naps of my own), I remember spending a huge percentage of his napping years getting stressed out.  First there was the complete lack of predictability of naps during his infancy.  There was the complete sleep snafu that happened when he was switching from one nap to two.  (That transition coincided with the worst of my depression, and let me tell you, getting up with a 12-month-old at 5 a.m. in the dead of winter, and then having that kid take some random nap between 10 and 11:30 a.m. and be done napping for the rest of the day, that doesn't work wonders for your mental health.) 

I'd say the only time Nathan was dependably napping at a set time was from about ages 1 to 2, but then we had the "nap trap" situation.  I knew that 11:00 a.m. on was a danger zone to be in the car, because if the boy fell asleep for even ten minutes, his body would think he was done with his nap and that would be it for the day.  I recall keeping him awake in the car by tapping on his leg, singing, talking, giving him a sucker, letting him drink a soda ... by any means necessary.  Not only did we have to be home from noon to three, we had to be out of the car at any time that the car might put him to sleep.  The mere mention of any activity between the hours of 11 and 4 made me nervous.

Then when his naps became less dependable, that was so stressful, too.  I would put him down at 1:00 and he'd carry on for like two hours, and then finally he'd sleep from about 3 to 5, at which point, !@#%.  This actually is the era where Bangy-Nose Pooh got his name, because Nathan would bang Pooh's nose on the side of his bed in an effort to protest napping.

Oh, and I think we're all familiar with the nap-delaying poopy diaper.

So, for all those reasons, I wasn't altogether sad when Nathan stopped napping.  As I said, there was the initial period where I seriously didn't have any clue what to do all day, because up until every day had been divided into two distinct periods: Pre-Nap and Post-Nap.  What was I supposed to do to entertain Nathan all these extra hours in the middle of the day?  Oh, and also, he didn't know how to handle being up all day.  He wasn't quite tired enough that he needed a nap, but he wasn't energetic enough to make it through the day without getting ridiculously crabby.

Slowly, though, we adjusted to no naps.  Nathan has a mid-day "quiet time," which, I admit, is not altogether quiet in that it involves the TV.  I like the flexibility of the quiet time; it doesn't have to be at a specific time, and nobody is really adversely affected by the skipping of quiet time on some days.  I like that Nathan has the whole day to get tired, and not that I have to tire him out first to take a nap, and then later to go to bed.

Now, let me pause and say that I absolutely blame myself for his giving up naps a little on the early end.  During Nathan's napping days, I wasn't one of those parents who insisted that the nap schedule be respected at all costs.  You know like, "Oh, Joel McHale and Tina Fey are coming to town to host the Adorable Kittens and Chocolate Festival?  Sorry, I can't go, my kid has to take a nap."  There were just honestly too many other factors to work around to make sure we were always home for my kid's nap.  For example, my husband is the type to not really be ready to start the day until about 1:00 p.m., so the choice was sometimes between giving up naptime or never being all together as a family.  So I made some choices when it came to naps, and I'm pretty sure his giving up naps was my fault.  (Although, thankfully, this article says it probably isn't my fault.  Maybe.  And it says that when he gave up naps, that was a sign that his brain had matured in a certain way.  Though, you know, not in the way that signals that a complete meltdown in McDonald's is a bad idea.) 

But all issues of blame aside, I've accepted that naps are in the rearview mirror.  And I mostly say good riddance to naps. 

Except lately I've done a complete 180 when it comes to my beliefs on naps. 

I've decided all children should take naps until kindergarten. 

Why?  Because there just isn't enough for them to do all day long during the preschool years. 

Lately we've been operating on a schedule that's pretty busy in the mornings.  I personally get up, get the dishwasher emptied, tidy up in the kitchen, do some laundry, feed Nathan and the cat, get Nathan dressed and ready for the day's activities, work out, run errands, do some sort of professional-ish activity, sometimes transport Nathan to/from activities, and make lunch.  The mornings are usually exhausting and productive, and after lunch we're tired and overstimulated. 

It's not the time to start some big, new activity.  As last week's McDonald's episode illustrated, even something as simple as a fast-food playground might be too much for Nathan in the middle of the day.  We do go to the library or an occasional errand, and we like the park when the weather is nice, but ... there are just so many hours to fill in the day. 

Also, I need Nathan to conserve his energy for the evening hours.  He has soccer practice Wednesdays at 6, and sometimes I have 4:30 obligations at the gym, and I don't want him to be a total meltdown-y wreck by then. 

And sometimes I'd just like him to have enough rational brain cells left to realize that it's a better idea to just eat that one required bite of whatever at dinner than to sit there at the table whining for 45 minutes.  

Plus I often have work-related tasks I need to accomplish in the afternoons, and I feel guilty parking Nathan in front of the TV or computer games.  Wouldn't it be easier to just take a nice nap? 

And, of course, there are days like today, when it's cold and rainy and just perfect for a nap, or days like yesterday, when I worked out so hard at the gym I just wanted to lie in bed, and those are the days when I wish my kid would still nap. 

So, what I'm proposing, children of the world, is that you all take a regular, predictable afternoon nap until the day you start kindergarten.  At that time you will be given the Get Out of Naps Free pass and can proceed to stay awake all day for important learning and extra-curricular activities.  Sound good?