We Can Work It Out

So, remember my ridiculous bout of hypochondria last week, the one where my neck glands swelled up and I was convinced that I had cancer?

Well, so on Friday, when I had my cell phone attached to me in the hopes that the doctor would call, I had an appointment with my trainer at the gym. I explained the whole gland-swelling situation to her, and her first comment was that she used to experience the same thing, and it was a result of working out too hard.

Working out too hard.

Now, there's no real way to know what the cause was (except that it was not, thankfully, cancer). The doctor speculated allergies and gave me allergy medication. Just to be safe, he prescribed an antibiotic in case I had some kind of undetected infection. And in case the glands were swelling up due to over-training, I took the weekend off from the gym.

Something in this multi-pronged attack made me feel better. And let's not discount the healing effects of peace of mind. I think we've all had some mystery ailment that just disappears on its own once a medical professional gives us a clean bill of health.

But, hypothetically, let's just say that part of the problem was that I was exercising too hard. First of all, I am the last person anybody would ever expect to have an over-exercising problem. It's kind of like how everybody thought I drove like an old granny, and yet I still managed to get a speeding ticket (stupid Iowa state troopers).

But, you know, Jill could be right. I could possibly have been pushing myself too hard at the gym. What I like about Trainer Jill is that, unlike so many other gym personnel, she doesn't work you too hard. She works you to an appropriate level of challenge for you. Obviously it is easier to individualize a workout plan when you're doing personal training than when you're teaching a group exercise class, so I can't be too hard on the other instructors. But the fact remains that Jill believes in moderation.

And so I realize once again that I have trouble defining moderation.

I do know I have a "go big or go home" attitude about the gym. As in, Well, I managed to get here, so I might as well knock myself out. And I have a bit of a denial problem when it comes to accepting that maybe I am like 50 pounds overweight and should not be attempting the exercises of some of my thinner fellow gymgoers. Then there's the not-so-insignificant fact that a harder workout will get me to be thinner faster. (Or so I thought. Jill says over-exercising can actually be counter-productive to weight loss, because it slows down your metabolism. Yet another one of those counter-intuitive human body things.)

Also doing cardio every day makes me feel better. As I've said before, I see myself as a car that has been sitting in a garage, undriven, for too long. My body needs to go out and get used so I can blow out some of those exhaust fumes.

And isn't every single article you read in every single publication always upping the ante for the amount of exercise that "experts" recommend? You could feel good that you're doing the treadmill three times a week for half an hour each, and then somebody in Parade magazine is telling you that you should be doing it five times a week for 45 minutes each.

And I want to train for a triathlon, and I want to be able to swim 3 miles in a lake, and, and, and ...

I would say that I can't win, but I think I can. See, ever since the conversation with Jill on Friday, I have turned off a little bit of my workout guilt. I didn't go to the gym yesterday, and that's okay. Sure, So-and-So goes every single day, twice a day, but So-and-So is not me.

I have also started paying more attention to my own heart rate (seeing as I own this fancy $60 monitor) and not letting my heart rate get too high. I've been saying that if I do want to exercise most days, I need to exercise at a more moderate pace.

It seems weird to me, somebody who is overweight having to cut back on exercise. But I need to do what is right for me and not turn exercise into yet another example of a situation where I feel like I'm not good enough.

So, I am learning to be reasonable. At least when it comes to exercise. All the other things, that will come.