The Human of the Year Award

Yesterday I wrote this:

"In addition to not being easily inspired, I also have a very jealous streak, so a lot of times one person's inspiration is actually my trigger for jealousy. Take, for example these cheerleaders who cheer about science. Part of me is like, it's great that these women are destroying stereotypes and promoting women in the sciences. But another part of me is like, umm, if I knew you, I would kind of hate you, with your multiple graduate degrees and your stunning cheerleader body."

This paragraph got me thinking about a concept that I've had in the back of my mind for awhile, the idea that we're all sort of competing for the Human of the Year award. Who can do the most? Accomplish the most? Be the most frazzled? That person is Human of the Year.

Now, not everybody buys into this competition, and maybe you're one of the lucky people who doesn't. But I think most people do. How often do we say things like, "Oh, I feel so inadequate compared to her, because she's a cardiologist with three children who runs a successful Etsy shop on the side"? Or, "I feel like I should do more, like maybe get a part-time job." Or, "Oh, well that accomplishment is not a big deal, because I only have one kid and no job."

(That last one was me. I say it at least once a week. And I think it at least once an hour.)

In my mind, we earn points for Human of the Year from the following categories: Family, Work, and Personal Accomplishments.

In the Family category, you get more points the more kids you have. Bonus points if you have some weird situation like your husband travels for work 30 weeks out of the year.

In the Work category, there are opportunities to earn points from a full-time job, part-time job, work-at-home job, small business, successful blog, and volunteer work.

You earn points for Personal Accomplishments through exercise-based achievements (e.g. running a marathon, losing weight, or even just going to the gym x number of times per week), having a super-organized home, earning an educational degree, taking some kind of personal enrichment class, reading a lot of books, or having a busy social life.

The points system for Human of the Year is very complicated. For example, you steadily lose points for every minute you're on Facebook, even though most of us are on it all day long. You earn a bonus if you say things like, "I didn't have one opportunity to sit down and catch my breath all day," or, "Oh, there goes my BlackBerry AGAIN!"

I think you get my point. We all feel like we should be doing more, juggling more, being more like her with her [life responsibility], [bigger life responsibility], and her [lucrative vocational endeavor], and she still has time for [major personal accomplishment].

But here's the thing. None of us are going to actually win the Human of the Year Award. I'm pretty sure that award goes to the likes of Mother Teresa. And maybe we're still competing for Human of the Year because it's like a lot of large athletic events: most people aren't in it to win, they're just in it to improve on their personal bests and/or beat a few other people in their age categories.

But I'm sick of competing. I'm sick of feeling like no matter what I do, it just isn't enough. It's not as much as she's doing. Maybe some of this was borne out of the mentality a lot of us had in high school, wherein you were supposed to sign up for as many extra-curricular activities as possible, while still maintaining a high GPA and working at a part-time job. I mean, that all looks good on your college application, right?

Except, did the college people even look at that stuff very carefully on your application? My guess is that they did not, at least in the case of the large public university I attended. And knocking myself out doesn't matter now, because in life there is no college application. I mean, yes, there's your resume, but you don't put "raised four children and schlepped them to 37 after-school activities" on your resume.

Why, then, do I feel like I always must do more and accomplish more? Is this the Internet's fault? I mean, not only does the Internet present us with more and more opportunities for achievement (Etsy! Blogs!), it also gives all these achievers a place to brag about themselves. Look at any blog, any blog (except this one), and you'll see a tab where the blog's author lists all her professional appearances and publications. And I think, geez, my only publications have been in the community section of my local paper, and my family's Christmas letter.

But I think a lot of times, these people are lying. Well, not so much lying, just leaving out the part where they spend half their days trolling Facebook, too. And when people say, "Wow, I don't have enough time to get it all done during the day," it's because they were playing Mafia Wars for 5 hours. (I can see you're on Facebook half the day, because I'm on there half the day, too.)

I'm sick of feeling inadequate. And the thing is, I have friends who I think do so much, so much, and are higher than I am in the Human of the Year rankings. And you talk to those friends, and they say they feel inadequate compared to some other person. I should do more is the mantra of too many of us.

I want off this crazy train. So for now, I'm announcing that I am actively trying to withdraw from the Human of the Year competition. Notice I didn't say I was actually withdrawing, because I don't think I can just snap my fingers and make that kind of personality change. I've had years of do more, accomplish more, be more ingrained into my being, and it will take awhile to unlearn habits and behaviors. But I think awareness of my own personal insanities is a good first step on my journey to a life free of inadequacy.

Will you join me on my journey?