Two Days

While you guys were probably bored to tears with my last post, I will say that writing it down really allowed me to clarify some things in my own head. After I wrote that post and read some people's comments (here and on Facebook), I started to have a new awareness of the forces at work in our new preschool-going, non-napping life. And I think, in the two days following that post, I really looked at those forces, the good and the bad, in a new light. And, dare I say, a routine began to emerge. I didn't realize how good it felt to be in a routine, albeit a fledgling, imperfect one. (Though really, a life where we're always in a perfect, unwavering routine would be boring and a little bit unrealistic.) Anyway, the following is an account of those two days.

Thursday
After his usual protests, Nathan went to school. (Seriously, where does a 3-year-old learn "I'm sick, I can't go to school"?) I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill. I'm following the Couch to 5K running plan, and I decided I would train both Tuesday and Thursday after preschool drop-off. (See, routine. Yay for me!) Then I decided I could use the time after the gym to do a quick errand, not a full-on, big grocery shop, but something like the dry cleaner or a toilet paper run. This usually leaves me with about 45 minutes left before I have to pick up the boy, which I have decided to use to just decompress at home and relish the only quiet part of my day. I either read, watch TV, surf the Internet, or listen to silence.

So, my Tuesday/Thursday plan for when Nathan is at preschool is as follows: gym, errand, decompressing. (In case anybody was worried about my hygiene, there is a shower in there somewhere as well.) Then I pick up Nathan and give him five minutes on the couch at the park district to tell me about his day. Next we go home and have lunch and quiet time. The afternoons are a little bit ill-defined, but on this past Thursday we just hung out at home. I actually played with the boy, much as it pains me to take part in games that are based on some illogical narrative that exists only in the boy's head. Then we went to the park and ate an early dinner. Bill was working late, so I wanted to get Nathan to bed early. He was asleep by 7:30 and I had the whole evening to myself. Good day.

Friday
Not such a good day, although you learn from the bad days as well as the good. (I can't really call it a bad day, just a frustrating day.) I don't really have a workout plan for Fridays, which meant I was left without any endorphins or structured activities. I participated in a shopping activity that was not so preschooler-appropriate. (I know that sounds like I went to some kind of smutty store, but I just meant I was shopping in some stores where a lot of things were breakable.) And there was an incident at home involving my husband and the dishwasher, which left my kitchen totally disgusting and unusable. So we ate all three meals from restaurants, which it turns out makes you feel kind of like crap. And Nathan was kind of bad in the restaurants and stores, because he gets that way when not every activity revolves around him. I felt bad about my parenting and about myself in general.

Friday afternoon just dragged. I was thinking about how the weekends aren't that different from the weekdays when you have my particular lifestyle, and I was, therefore, dreading the upcoming weekend. I just wanted to call my friends and my mom for support, but the kid kept dogging me to play with him. I did not give in. I ordered some takeout for dinner and gave the kid a bath before Bill got home. Then I told Bill that I needed a break during the weekend.

He did end up giving me some time to take a bath and read on Saturday, and I went out with some friends for drinks/dessert. And we all went out as a family on Saturday (to the library! and Target!), which made me feel less alone. However, I really only want to talk about Thursday and Friday in this post. Thursday I learned what works well for us, and Friday I learned what does not. I learned that a day without any structure is kind of bad.

So, I'm trying to eke out a plan where we have at least one scheduled activity per day. I signed the boy up for a free Gymboree trial class, and if Gymboree works out, we will have their free play option during other parts of the week as well. I don't really have anything for Fridays, which is a problem, but I think that's the day we should plan all those fun outings that I always say we should go on. There's enough unstructured time left that I don't have something every minute, because of course you still have to do stuff like chores and errands. But the goal is to have enough outside-the-home stuff to make the times when we're home welcome and enjoyable.