Sunday, September 12, 2010

Roots

Dot Com: If you want to win your “O” you have to reconnect with your roots.
Tracy: No I don’t. I was on a yacht with the Roots last week.
-From 30 Rock, Season 4, Episode 21: "Emanuelle Goes to Dinosaur Land"

Nathan's preschool is called The Learning Tree. (It's affiliated with the park district. Get it? Parks ... trees?) Each class has a tree name. The two-year-olds are the Willows. (I think originally it was the Weeping Willows, because two-year-olds cry so much.) Nathan's class, the three-year-olds, is called the Ginkgos. The four-year-olds are the Oaks.

In the first issue of the year of the preschool's newsletter, Branches and Blooms, the director drew and analogy between trees and families. She said that children are like a tree's branches, and their parents are like the tree's roots. While the roots do the job of supporting the branches, they also continue to grow themselves.

Since I'm a big fan of cheesy metaphors, the director's message really resonated with me. As a parent, I feel like I am supposed to go into every situation being The Expert, The Perfect One, The All-Knowing Voice of Authority. (I think teachers are held to the same expectations, by the way.) My son expects this of me. Society expects this of me. (Generally speaking, it's always safe to blame all your problems on society.) And the worst part, I expect perfection of myself. I get upset when I am less than perfect.

Except, guess what? This is my first time doing all this. I do have more life experience than Nathan, but I have been a parent exactly as long as he has been a child. We're both first-timers. We will both be first-timers in everything until he goes to college, until he is an adult, until ... forever.

So, I am still growing, too. I am his roots, and, as such, I have to be a little bit stronger so I can support us both. But I am not full-grown either. I have to allow myself room for growth.

I am his roots.


1 comment:

Melissa said...

This is such a beautiful post! With everything that's going on with education, it is so lovely to hear about schools like yours, where the director really understands families and what they need. The analogy is beautiful.

You're right about how teachers feel the need to be the expert. I can't imagine what that's like as a parent! Your job holds so much more weight.

That's why I make a huge effort to bring the parents in at the start of every school year, and try to create a very strong family relationship. We're all learning, and there's no magic formula. Every kid is unique.

It's only by working together, and being honest with each other about our struggles and celebrations, that we can serve our kids best.

It sounds like you are very thoughtful and reflective, which is a winning combination.