A Smattering

My mental health has been a little bit sketchy lately. I alternate between wanting to sleep all the time and not being able to sleep at all. I don't know if it's the weather or what, but as I've said before, it's terrifying to think that I might be headed Back There again. So terrifying that I could easily just sit on my couch and work myself into a frenzy until the whole depression thing becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

No, no, no, no, no. NO.

The Big D knocks on my door fairly frequently, but he has not won for a very long time. (I figure Depression is a man.)

Well, by now you have probably clicked over to Cute Overload looking for something vaguely life-affirming because For the love of God why is Shannon such a downer? If you're still here, I'll spare you the trip:


Who wants to read about some random suburban housewife's depression when you can see a picture of a hedgehog (?) being bathed in the sink?

I'm just gonna say that if there are people out there bathing woodland creatures in their sinks, I may not be the only person with questionable mental health.

In other news ...

If you live in a Trader Joe's-having state, you must go out and buy the Gingerbread Man Kit! When I saw the box, I assumed it was one of those kits where you have to add other ingredients, and then roll out dough, and then bake and decorate. But no. It's a fully-formed, giant gingerbread man with a little bag of icing and some candies. You'll be Mother of the Year to your child(ren) when you show up with this little guy. It's $4 to avoid having a kitchen floor covered with flour. Worth it!

Speaking of Trader Joe's, I got some of their already-risen, ready-to-roll-out pizza dough and some goat cheese yesterday and made The Pizza That God Eats. Plus I got some other goat cheese with cranberries in it, and a bottle of Malbec wine (which I learned from that 1800baskets party is a wine that so in it's out again). I know, I know, Weight Watchers. But I'm thinking I can be like the French and just eat a very small quantity of rich foods. I'm pretty certain that going totally French in my attitude toward food with be really simple, despite the fact that I've spent 32 years cultivating my American food sensibilities, and the closest I've ever been to France is the Paris hotel in Las Vegas.

Also, I have not purchased one Christmas gift yet. Lest this make my family feel unwanted and unloved, my real reason for procrastination is that I focus better at the last minute. Early on in the holiday season, I'm a waffler when it comes to holiday shopping. Should I get this for So-and-So? I don't know, I might find something better. I'll wait. But around December 15, I start Having a Purpose in my shopping. I am suddenly decisive. And my loved ones end up getting something like a combination lint roller/tortilla maker because that's all they have left at Target. Okay I look like kind of a jerk.

And finally, at the recommendation of my trainer, I'm drinking a protein shake. It's kind of nasty, but I'm pretty sure that protein shakes are all that have been standing between me and six-pack abs.