Another Day Older and Deeper in Caloric Debt

One good thing about Weight Watchers is that it motivates you to exercise. I've never been a big fan of the whole "activity points" system, that is, using exercise to earn back points that you can spend on foods. For one thing, the calculation system for the activity points is very unclear. You earn points back based on the duration of your exercise, as well as whether it is light, moderate, or intense. They attempt to define these exertion levels in terms of how quickly you break a sweat, as in moderate=sweating in 10 minutes. But how can you tell that if you're swimming? Another meeting I went to said that light exercise means you can still sing while doing it, moderate exercise means you can talk but not sing, and intense means you can't talk or sing. Again, how the hell are you supposed to figure that out while swimming? And aren't most workouts a mixture of intensity levels?

So, if I'm unable to gauge exactly how many points I really earned back, I'm likely to overshoot it and then eat too much extra food. And then I'll just get fatter. Also, I don't like the whole "I exercised, so I can eat that" mentality. Oh sure, I have that mentality, but there's no use in quantifying it into a numerical formula.

Instead, I use the activity points as a sort of insurance policy. I don't keep exact track of how many points I earn and spend, but I know I have a little cushion there if things go badly. Things can go badly in one of two ways: (1) you could improperly calculate the points value in foods, in terms of foods prepared by others and/or at a restaurant, or (2) you end up in a situation where there's just nothing safe you can possibly eat at some function, and you're forced to cheat a little or starve to death.

Thus, I need a little wiggle room with my points, and thus, I am motivated to exercise. And I love my gym. Where else could I swim, have access to a great daycare with neat toys, and take a class on how to make pizza? I know it's a good gym because, almost a year after joining, I'm still going regularly. "Regularly" being defined as approximately 4 times a week.

But lately I have been bugged by two really stupid signs at the gym.

Sign #1: Sign up for the Senior Olympics! Ages 55 and up! Competition has no age limit!

What do you mean, competition has no age limit? Isn't the age limit of this particular competition 55 or older? Does a limit necessarily have to be an upper boundary? Doesn't a limit just mean a restriction?

Sign #2: Non-swimmers and children under 17 may not use the whirlpool.

Now, I realize this is just a CYA measure on the part of the gym, but why do you need to know how to swim in order to sit in a hot tub? Even if you did know how to swim, how would you put that to use in a pool that is 6 feet in diameter and 100 degrees? If somebody drowned in the hot tub, would the gym be absolved of all liability because that person didn't know how to swim?

Anyway, these are the things that bother you when you're in the first week of a diet, a.k.a. "the crabby phase." Your stomach has not yet shrunk, and you are hungry. Sure, Weight Watchers tells you never to be hungry, and in fact their whole new Momentum program is about eating filling foods that stave off hunger. (Weight Watchers also says they are a lifestyle and not a diet, but that's a gripe for another day.) But really, you could eat brown rice and quinoa until you're pooping all day and you would still be hungry at the beginning of a diet.

My coping skill when experiencing diet-related hunger has been to sleep. And today, after having to act all perky and chipper for toddler swim lessons, followed by 45 minutes of my own swimming at the gym and then a really trying trip to the store to buy diet-friendly foods with the crabby toddler, I needed a nap. But the boy would not sleep. I think maybe I pushed it too long and missed his nap window. Why is it that little kids need a particular window in which to sleep, but I can sleep anytime?

Then for dinner I made a recipe out of the Weight Watchers Week 1 handout booklet. I worked hard to prepare a from-scratch dinner, and I swear it tasted just like a Lean Cuisine. I guess maybe everybody uses the same "flavorful but low in calories" seasonings.

So now I'm sitting here in a hunger-induced haze, trying to come up with some clever ending for this post, but I can't. And really, what is this, my college entrance essay? No. I don't need a cutesy ending.

So, this is the end.