Meh

That's all I can say right now. (Okay, that's not all I can say right now, as the following paragraphs will attest.)

Maybe it's a post-vacation letdown, but I just feel like life is so dull right now. The thing is, normally I kind of like dullness. It's nice when people ask you what's new and you can say "nothing." It's certainly better than having bad stuff going on in your life, and even the good stuff can be kind of stressful. I really just like getting up every day in the same house and doing the same stuff, with a little low-key excitement thrown in. And by "low-key excitement," I mean stuff like going to the park or a museum. I think my toddler son's love of cheap thrills has worn off on me.

But when you've been in Hawaii at the best hotel ever, wherein you had a constant view of the ocean, coming home to the center of the country is kind of boring. And it's like, "Ugh, I have to make three meals a day??

Shame on you, Hawaii, for making the rest of my life seem so boring.

But actually each day since we got back has improved in terms of its increasing normalcy. The first day back, we had no food and a bunch of chaos everywhere. But now the house is in a slight bit better state of order, and I am proud to say that I have not relied on a restaurant or take-out for SIX WHOLE DAYS!

So yesterday I went to Weight Watchers and found out I had lost 0.8 pounds since my last weigh-in, which was two weeks ago in California. At that California weigh-in, I had lost 0.8 pounds in my first week of vacation, which means my total weight loss for vacation was 1.6 pounds. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I mean, you could pee right before your weigh-in and lose 1.6 pounds. On the other hand, the ability to lose weight, or just fail to gain weight, is pretty good during vacation. And I guess I'm ultimately proud of myself for starting Weight Watchers before vacation, because at least I got a little bit of a jump-start on my weight loss.

However, I have only lost 7.2 pounds in my first month of Weight Watchers. Having a grand total of 75 pounds to lose, I really want to speed things up. My goal is to get to 10 pounds by next week if it kills me. Which it might, because it's looking like a bad gym week next week. It's the annual maintenance week, during which the pool is drained and the daycare has really crappy hours. I was thinking about using that week to try a new class at the gym, but none of them is scheduled during daycare hours. I should say, none of them except Cardio Spin is scheduled during daycare hours. And I'm sorry, I know some of you just love spinning, but I personally do not enjoy sitting on a hard bike seat the approximate width of my TV remote and willingly turning up the resistance on my stupid little wobbly bike. Oh, and the fact that you have to watch yourself in the mirror while doing all this is not sweetening the pot.

I'm thinking about taking on an ambitious workout plan for the fall. This is largely due to the fact that I'm a little bit bored of swimming, especially since it looks like I have broken my second waterproof MP3 player in six months. (And yeah, I know it's only stuff, it's not like a person is sick or dying, but can I briefly just vent my anger here and say F--K you, Speedo! And yes, I know I'm not hard-core because I used dashes instead of the real, whole word, but I hear you can get some really weird visitors to your blog if you use swear words. So just know I'm using the real word in my head.) Anyway. I still want to swim three times a week, but I want to throw in some other stuff, too. So I'm thinking about doing ice skating lessons Mondays, yoga Tuesdays, aquacize Thursdays, and a weight-lifting class Saturdays. Ideally I would like to swim Tuesdays before yoga, as well as Wednesdays and Fridays. This way I could have Sunday as a rest day, the way God intended.

Let me say, an ambitious workout schedule is not really something I normally do. I usually figure I'm just going to fail and be disappointed in myself, so why set such lofty goals to begin with? But I figure if I plan all these different activities and one of them doesn't work out, I will still have a whole bunch of others to fall back on.

Oh, and have I mentioned in the last 15 minutes that I struggle with depression? I hate to say it, but truly the only way I can keep it under control is with exercise. Now, let me back up and say that I don't think exercise alone is enough to cure most people's clinical depression. I am also a proud member of the Prozac Nation, and I go to therapy as well. I absolutely think anti-depressant medication is necessary for a large number of people (myself, obviously, included) because sometimes you need the medication to even get yourself motivated to exercise or do whatever else you need to do to improve your mental health. But I also believe that once you are motivated enough to make yourself better, you have a responsibility to do so. That is, you cannot just pop a pill and expect that it will solve all your problems (with the possible exception of Xanax). After you take a pill, you have to get the rest of the way on your own.

I think part of the meh-ness of this week has been because I've only been to the gym twice. As I said, the daycare situation is crummy during the last weeks of summer, and of course I have also had 50 other things to do. Is it actually at the point where I'm eager for fall to come so I can get back into the routine?

Well, not before my last hurrah week next week. More on that later.