Something's Gotta Give

I'm reading a book called Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half, written by a couple who has been dubbed by Good Morning America as "America's Cheapest Family."

I'm only one chapter in, but I can already tell that, like most how-to/self-help books, this one is a combination of:

(a) Ideas that are totally obvious, which you have thought of and are already doing.  ("Plan out meals and then make a grocery list of items you need.")
(b) Ideas that you could never realistically implement.  ("Only go to the grocery store once a month.")
(c) Ideas that you could actually use, at least in some adapted form.  ("Make a list of everything you have before planning meals, to give you an idea of what to make."  ed note: I mean, I probably wouldn't inventory the entire spice rack, but I think it makes sense to remind myself of what's in the back of the freezer.)

But my point is not to summarize or review this book, at least not at this time.  My point is to discuss an over-arching concern I have as I go through this book, a concern which I think is becoming a metaphor for other life situations as well: 

Something's gotta give. 

See, as I go through this book, I realize that America's Cheapest Family is not at all similar to my own family.  ACF has 5 children, which seem to range in age from about 13 to 26.  (All seem to be living at home, which presents a fairly obvious money-saving measure: Kick the twenty-somethings out.)  Nobody seems to be picky in the slightest.  (There is a section about how to handle picky eaters, but in the example he states that two of his children at first did not like grapefruit.  That's your picky eater?  Dude, nobody likes grapefruit.)  As with most big families, the parents present a this is what I'm making, take it or leave it attitude.  And there don't seem to be any real specific dietary concerns.  I mean, they do serve a balanced diet (as in, they aren't advocating ramen or mac 'n cheese just because they're the cheapest things you can eat), but their meal plans aren't guided by anybody's specific dietary restrictions like weight loss, vegetarian, gluten-free, organic, low-fat, or low-cholesterol. 

In my family, on the other hand, I'm on Weight Watchers, Bill is somewhat picky and emphasizes low cholesterol, and Nathan doesn't really like anything.  Additionally, we don't have the kind of whole-family buy-in that ACF has: The commitment to everybody being available/willing to eat whatever is provided three meals a day, every single day.  Sometimes unforeseen situations arise that derail our well-laid plans for a home-cooked meal, and we end up eating take-out.  And those situations often involve good, wholesome reasons, reasons like work or exhausted from the gym or stayed too long at the library. 

The point is, flexibility and convenience sometimes need to be the priorities.  And, as I said, in our family, dietary concerns are priorities.  And there is still definitely room to implement cost-cutting measures and still achieve these priorities, but not always.  Because, sometimes, something's gotta give. 

I will list just one example here: pre-cut green beans in a bag.  I'm pretty sure that any Frugalista worth her (half-price, bought-with-double-coupons) salt would never buy pre-cut vegetables.  Pre-cut vegetables cost about twice as much as the ones you have to wash and cut yourself.  But, if you're a member of a family where green beans meet everybody's dietary needs, and are one of the three vegetables everybody likes, aren't you going to do everything it takes to make sure green beans get used and served, rather than rotting in the bottom of the fridge because you are too lazy/tired to prepare them? 

Because, sometimes, something's gotta give. 

So, although I will continue to read the book and look for suggestions that apply to my own life, I want to be mindful of the fact that I don't want to sacrifice nutrition for the sake of monetary savings. 

The odd thing is that I got the book as a Kindle e-book from the library, which was a format that I decided would probably be a casualty of my "something's gotta give" attitude.  See, in a year where I'm trying to use less and eat less, reading an e-book is the perfect non-edible, non-consuming reward for myself.  For obvious reasons related to ease and convenience, I prefer the Kindle format to a hard copy of a book.  Last year I committed to getting my e-books from the library, for financial reasons.  However, the library e-book system is incredibly limited and frustrating, and if I relied on it solely for my reading material, I'd be without a book to read a lot of the time.  And since reading is an easy, wholesome, enjoyable activity that fits in with my other priorities about not consuming material goods or excess food, I decided that I just couldn't worry about the whole buying books issue, because something's gotta give. 

Now, here's where the whole something's gotta give thing applies to the rest of my life.  See, yesterday, I was lying around reading the grocery savings book, and a crushing, all-consuming guilt washed over me.  I'm such a loser, lying around reading in the middle of the day.  I should be doing something meaningful with my time. 

That was at about 2:30 in the afternoon, after a morning that had been kind of a downer for me.  After getting Nathan out the door to his new M/W/F preschool class (same school, different days), I went to Weight Watchers.  I expected a big loss, and I had only lost 0.4 lb.  That set off a chain of self-loathing, which couldn't be cured by the endorphins from a run/walk on the treadmill at the gym after Weight Watchers.  Then, after a quick tear through Target to get some groceries, I picked up Nathan, made lunch, blah, blah, blah.  All that I was staring down for the afternoon was a bunch of household chores, and I couldn't see the point.  And after that, there would be the not-at-all-gratifying chore of cooking for my picky family ... and then Nathan's bedtime, which is going worse than ever. 

Now, I realize all of these situations are what the Internets might call first-world problems or white people problems, or non-problems.  But I was in a big funk over them, and feeling guilty about my lack of productivity, and generally just in a big fat ball of bad.  Then it occurred to me that:

1. I was exhausted because I was training for a triathlon.
2. I had restricted myself from any sort of activity where I would be eating or purchasing material goods, which are noble goals. 
3. Cleaning and doing laundry and putting up with my picky eaters doesn't exactly make me a saint, but I should recognize that it constitutes a fair amount of effort. 

The point is, I think when you're trying to juggle health goals and environmental goals and monetary goals, and find leisure activities that you can do despite all these goals and while caring for a family, reading is an obvious choice, and I shouldn't feel guilty about it.  Because something's gotta give. 

Now, what I'd really like to give up is the all-consuming guilt about how little I feel I contribute to society.  But for now, maybe I'll focus on giving up the guilt about reading in the middle of the day.  Baby steps.