Let's Delve Into 2012, or, You Say You Want a Resolution

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Happy New Year, everyone!

I've said it before, I'll say it again: I just love New Year's.  Not only is it great to make a fresh start, but it's just nice to enjoy the simplicity after the insanity of Christmas. 

And so, here we are.  Two thousand twelve.  Or twenty-twelve.  I'm not sure how I'm saying it this year. 

Either way, I like the number 12.  My birthday is on the 12th, 12 was my brother's water polo number, and I just like even numbers.  The number 12 is such a great even number, too, because it can be divided up many ways.  So many equal groups.  So much fairness.  So, I feel good about 2012.  I say, It's gonna be a great year. 

Except, What if it isn't? popped into my head on New Year's Eve.  So many of the past years have been great to me, what if I'm due for a terrible tragedy to befall me?  Then I recall what Betty, my least-favorite of the Crazy Camp counselors, used to say: People with depression are always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  She also told me that I have an obsession with fairness, which is why I tend to think those who have lived a fortunate life (like me) are eventually going to get their due and have a tragedy befall them.  (Grating though she was, she had a point about the fairness thing.  I mean, I just wrote an entire paragraph analyzing the fairness of numbers.) 

So, obviously I'm being ridiculous and letting the darker part of my mind get the better of me.  I am feeling optimistic about 2012, even if it is just the antidepressants talking. 

Now, my feelings about new years having been explored, let's move on to resolutions.

I will briefly discuss three small resolutions I have made, and then one big one.

The three small ones:

• Get back into Weight Watchers.  I know, I make this one every fucking new year's.  This year I'm focusing on getting myself off white starches as much as possible, because people claim you stop craving them eventually.  I'm also focusing on I can do this today, because when I think about the uphill battle that is weight loss, I just get so overwhelmed and want to quit.  One day at a time is a strategy that works for AA, and it can work for me, too. 
• Train for the indoor triathlon at my gym, which is February 25.  I signed up for the official training program, which meets at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m. on Saturdays and will undoubtedly include a bunch of fitness types who will make me feel like an even bigger fatass.  The training starts January 14, and I don't know if it will include some sort of "homework" workouts you're supposed to do during the week, but for now I'm just trying to get back into swimming and teach my fat self to run for 15 minutes straight.  Oh, and go to Spin to train for the bike portion.
• Use my credit card less.  This isn't about debt, it's more of a mental thing.  Let me explain.  I have paid my entire credit card bill every single month since I got a credit card.  I think credit cards are convenient, and I think if you use them right they can work to your advantage, e.g. by giving you airline miles or cash back or whatever.  (My particular one is a Target Visa, which gives me 5% off all Target purchases and then gives me an additional one-day 5% off every time I get x number of points.)  However, despite the convenience and payoffs of credit cards, I hate getting the big-ass bill every month.  I'm fully aware of the fact that everything on that bill is stuff I would have bought anyway, I just hate seeing it all added up on one statement.  I don't like the "pay later" aspect of it all.  So, this year I'm going to try to use my debit card or cash more, so I can pay now instead of pay later. 

Now, the big resolution is my family's plan to make 2012 The Year of Less Consumption.

See, recently I watched a movie on a website called The Story of Stuff Project.  The movie is kind of long (or at least, I think 20 minutes is long by online video standards), but the bottom line is this: We cannot create an infinite amount of goods with a finite amount of resources.  The movie also reminds us of what we already know: The goods we get for ridiculously cheap come at the expense of people working for unfair wages in unsatisfactory working conditions in other countries.

Now, like all movies, this one has a bias.  One could easily argue pro-consumption as well, because obviously a lot of people--people in America--depend on income from the retail industry for their livelihoods.  And it would be impossible to give up consumption altogether, at least here in the mainstream real world.

But what ultimately brought me over to the side of less consumption was cleaning out my closets in December.  I realized that, like most households, we have a lot of stuff. 

And, like most people, we like acquiring stuff.  Buying new things always comes with a small, temporary high.  Although I have always advocated that high over the high that comes from eating, it's time to go back and use some of the stuff we already have instead of getting more stuff. 

It's also time to start choosing reusable over disposable, because we only have one planet.  I've never been a crunchy, hippie type--in fact, I've often chosen ease and convenience over eco-friendliness--but even I can see that it's time to just stop throwing so much away. 

Now, my family and I live in the real world, so it would be impossible to give up buying new things altogether.  We need clothes and shoes to wear.  And sometimes unforeseen situations that necessitate unforeseen purchases arise, making it impossible to make any hard-and-fast rules about consuming less. 

But we have established some Guiding Principles for The Year of Less Consumption:

1. Choose reusable over disposable whenever reasonable and/or tolerable.  Now, reasonable and tolerable are obviously subjective terms that vary from person to person.  But, for example, reusable grocery bags and water bottles are tolerable, reusable toilet paper and tampons are not tolerable (in my opinion).  Reasonable is a little more situation-specific, like maybe it might be more reasonable to use disposable products when going on a picnic at the park, for example. 
2. Consumable goods are not restricted, but choice of product should emphasize frugality and eco-friendliness.  For example, choose the big hand soap refill that uses less plastic than the individual hand soap pumpers. 
3. Second-hand is preferred.  Now, I am 100% okay with hand-me-down clothes for Nathan.  I know the people who used them and I know they're clean.  Plus, second-hand clothes are sort of the norm for kids, who grow out of things quickly.  On the other hand, I'm not as cool with second-hand clothes for myself, and neither is Bill.  So, since that's outside of our comfort zone, that's something we can maybe revisit later.   But I think we can do a better job of buying second-hand when it comes to hard, easily sanitizable items that haven't come into contact with strangers' private areas, such as dishes or toys.  
4. Emphasize experiences over material goods.  While of course I hope that saving money is a positive by-product of the Year of Less Consumption, it's not the main goal.  Which is to say that I'm not opposed to spending some money, I just want to change how we spend it.  When it comes to disposable income, I'd like to spend our money on non-tangible experiences instead of more stuff.  Stuff like movies, museums, trips, restaurants, and other attractions are where I want to put my money this year.  And that goes for gifts as well as for ourselves. 
5. All of the above should be followed according to individual comfort level.  Bill and I discussed specific behaviors we could each change for the Year of Less Consumption.  As I said, neither of us is going to use cloth toilet paper, and we're not currently all that okay with buying pants that strangers have worn.  However, I have agreed to start using cloth napkins and dish towels instead of paper towels.  Bill has agreed to bring his own bags into Target and to take a reusable water bottle to work every day.  The bottom line, if you try to change too much too fast, or to do things you aren't comfortable with, you will be in for a big fat FAIL.  

So, those are my resolutions.  Happy 2012 to all!  

 S

It's the Little Things

On the last day of the year, it's natural to reflect back on the year behind us.

Two-thousand eleven.  What to say?

Well, I'm sorry to do this, but in order to assess the past year, I have to go back and put it in context among the past decade.

See, the thing is, pretty much every single year of the 2000s, I experienced some major life-changing event.  Such as:

• 2000: Graduated from college, and within 48 hours I had moved back in with my parents and started attending a teaching credential program.  Started 3-year long-distance relationship when Bill went to law school in Chicago and I stayed in California. 
• 2001: Did my student teaching, finished my credential, got a job teaching 5th grade.  On the second day of school, 9/11 happened. 
• 2002: Finished a really emotionally gut-wrenching first year of teaching, changed grades to teaching 2/3 multi-age the following September. 
• 2003: Moved out of my parents' house and lived alone for the first time.  Got engaged. 
• 2004: Got married, moved across country.
• 2005: Began the year with a really bad teaching job, quit that and changed careers to be an editor in the educational publishing field. 
• 2006: Got pregnant.
• 2007: Had a baby, switched to working part-time, bought our first home. 
• 2008: Experienced episode of major depression, switched to full-time at work, finally quit to be a stay-at-home mom.  

By 2009, I needed things to slow down.  And they did.  I remember at the end of 2009, I reflected on what a great year it had been, not because of the exciting things that happened, but because of the things that didn't.

In 2010, though, things began to feel stagnant.  I began to think I needed something big to happen again.  Have another baby!  Go back to work!  Make it big as a blogger!

And yet, none of that felt right.  Every possible life path felt wrong.

I didn't get it right until 2011, when I realized that the answer lay not in giant leaps, but in baby steps.

So the best way I can sum up 2011 is to say that it was the year of baby steps.

I didn't go back to work full-time, but I did do some freelance work and found out I loved it.  I didn't make it big as a blogger, but I did make money off my blog for the first time.  I got a lot of free stuff, had some great bloggy experiences, attended my first BlogHer, made some great friends, and built up my readership. 

I learned how much I love participating in community theater.  I completed an indoor triathlon.  I went on vacation by myself. 

It was a lot of little, but really great, experiences.

As for 2012, who knows?  I like to make resolutions like everybody else, but those are about specific behaviors, not about the bigger plan or theme or picture.

As always, the new year is a blank slate.  See you there. 

2011 Penultimate Post

Looks Like We Didn't Make It

I mean I didn't make it.  To 365 posts, that is.  This will be Post #343 for 2011, and I do have one in the pipeline for the last day of the year, a sort of reflective, summing up sort of thing.  So that's a total of 344 posts for 2011.

21 posts short.

If only I had another 3 weeks in the year ... well, I'd probably still come up short.  It's hard to post every single day. 

I also said I would make it to Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs of 2011.  And even though they upped it to the Top 100 Mom Blogs, I still didn't make the list.  (I mean duh, that was a long shot to begin with, but still, it's great to aim high.) 

BUT in 2011 I actually met and/or Facebook friended some of the people on the list, and some of them actually read my blog.  So I guess that's sort of like saying, "You know, Jennifer Aniston knows I exist," which is kind of a lame thing to get excited about, but I like to think it means I'm moving up in the world. 

As further evidence of my improved status as a blogger, I will note that this year I got invited to several really fun company blogger events, and got some cool free stuff for myself and my readers. 

Also, I met a lot of great new friends.  And I became more aware of who I am, as a blogger and as a person, and why I write this blog in the first place.  I do it because I like it.  I like to write, and I like to share my writing, which means I also like all of you for your willingness to let me share it with you. 

So, in conclusion, although I didn't achieve my ridiculous goals, I did achieve so much more.  And isn't that how it always is, you ending up finding something you weren't even looking for in the first place? 

The Beach in December

We were busy yesterday taking in the finer sights of Orange County.

We went to a super cool park:

Sat on a turtle:

Performed some "obstacles":

Rode a carousel:

And decorated a cupcake with blue frosting, gummi worms, and Starburst:

So by the time we got done with all that, we barely had an hour to go to our favorite place, the beach! 

It was not what you'd call the ideal beach day.  The fog had rolled in, and the weather was cool. 

But I just like to hear the waves crashing, and Nathan just likes to dig in the sand, so it was fine. 

Did you know I used to live close enough to the beach in college that I could hear the waves crashing when I went to sleep?  Did you know I didn't appreciate that opportunity enough? 

I just love the beach.  I have found the following to be true about the beach:

1) All food tastes better when eaten on the beach.
2) All books are better when read on the beach.
3) All photos taken on the beach are automatically awesome.  (Exception: Photos featuring me in my bathing suit.) 

Well, we didn't have any food or books, and luckily it wasn't really bathing suit weather, so I was able to take the following awesome pictures:

I don't know why, but I like to take pictures of our feet on the beach.  I guess because I like to have some part of myself or somebody I know in the picture to prove we were there. 

Perhaps because I used to go to the beach to reflect during my brooding college years, going to the beach always makes me all weirdly philosophical.  The ocean is so big and powerful, so perfect and beautiful. 

No doubt Nathan was also pondering life's deeper questions:

And even though it doesn't include any body parts belonging to myself or my family, I took this picture to help me remember the moment:

2011 Favorites: Books, Movies, Television

Books

I don't think 2011 was my best reading year.  First of all, I only read 31 books, which was significantly lower than my 2010 total of 43.  I think I had less time to read because I spent my free time blogging, writing scripts, and working on my freelance projects.  I realize that no one of those activities took up all that much time, but they kind of tended to absorb those pockets of time where I would have previously picked up a book.

But in addition to, or perhaps because of, the small quantity of books I read, I just didn't think I read a lot of books of great quality this year.

Still, there were some gems, and I have determined a favorite:

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh is the story of a young woman who ages out of the foster system, and is able to eke out an existence through her own floral business.  The book deals with the Language of Flowers, a secret code used in the Victorian era to convey messages through the exchange of specific flowers.  Obviously this book appealed to me because of my interest in flower-arranging, but I also thought it was an interesting, well-written story. 

Favorite book runners-up:

• The Sisters by Nancy Jensen: Two BFF sisters become estranged after a misunderstanding.  One of those books that follows different characters through many decades. 
• If I Stay and Where She Went by Gayle Forman: This is a two-part YA series about a young girl who is the sole survivor of a car accident that kills the rest of her family.  The characterization is just wonderful.
• Bossypants by Tina Fey: As everybody knows, this is Tina Fey's humorous memoir.  It perfectly blends interesting peeks into the world of celebrity with humorous Everyday Jane sort of observations. 
• Left Neglected by Lisa Genova: A harried have-it-all working mother is forced to re-examine her priorities after a head injury leaves her with a condition where she can't perceive the left side of anything. 

Movies

I saw more movies in the theater this year than I did the previous 3 years combined.  I saw two with Nathan: Cars 2 and The Muppets.  I loved The Muppets so, so much, it's like I never wanted it to end.  Cars 2 was sort of a drag for me, and I thought the plot was weirdly complicated, but it appealed to young children's love of watching cars race around.  I will say I loved the purple car, Holly, and she was so cute that I considered buying a toy version of her just for myself.

Bill and I saw two movies, and they were both superhero films.  I didn't really like Thor.  Vikings just aren't my thing, and I didn't think the lead character was at all good-looking.  X-Men: Beginnings, on the other hand, was jam-packed with hot actors, and had an interesting storyline.   

I Don't Know How She Does It was sort of a meh chick-flick that I saw with my friends.  I enjoyed going out with my friends and eating movie snacks, but the movie itself was just so-so. 

Oh, and we saw Tin Tin with my parents yesterday.  Loved the campy 30s feel to it, and loved the dog.  Mostly enjoyable, although a bit too long. 

I'm declaring my favorite seen-in-the-theater film of 2011 to be:

The Help, which I saw with Katie in August.  Not a surprising choice, since The Help was my favorite book of 2009.  I got the DVD for Christmas.

Television

I only watched the following shows regularly in 2011:

• Community: Joel McHale's hotness makes the show worth watching, but it's getting super weird, and I'm not at all devastated that the show has been put on hiatus.
• Parks and Recreation: Solidly funny, not my all-time favorite but still consistently good.  
• Modern Family: This show gets better and better as they get a bigger budget/win more awards.  What I like is that each character is quirky, but never over-the-top.  
• 30 Rock: Always awesome, always the best, except I missed it this fall during Tina Fey's (obviously well-deserved) maternity leave.  Looking forward to the season premiere on my birthday. 
• The Daily Show: Every episode is clever and hilarious.  And I am willing to admit I'm one of those people who gets most of my news from Jon Stewart.  

As a final note, I know many people might include Music as a category on a post like this, but I don't consider myself interested and/or hip enough to write about music. 

My Best Posts of 2011, According to Me

The Serious

• January 10: Mom Blog: A post attempting to sum up my thoughts on motherhood. 
• January 20: Let's Go on With the Show: The very moment I realized how much I loved performing in community theater, because it gave me an identity outside of motherhood.  Chosen for this list because I cried cathartic tears the entire time I typed the post. 
• March 15: Crazy Camp, 3 Years Later: This is by far the most-read, most-commented about post I've ever written.  It's a look back on the three years since my time in an outpatient mental health program for depression. 
• June 29: The One Thing I'm Not Worried About: I'm including this one on my list because I think it sums up my views on education. 
• August 6: On Being a Writer vs. a Blogger vs. a Schlub: My inaugural trip to the BlogHer conference inspired me to write this post that violates the number 1 rule of blogging: Do not blog about blogging.  
• September 11: September 11, 2011: Well, my mom called this Sept. 11 post my best ever.  
• September 25: Crazy Camp, The Reunion: This was seriously one of the most poignant moments of the year for me, when I ran into a woman from my depression program and realized that we were both doing okay. 

The Funny

• January 3: I'm Supposed to Be Doing Something Else Right Now: A post about shoes, procrastination, musicals, and WWII rationing.  Also the post where I coin the word blorphine. 
• January 19: And In the Formal Wear Competition: My pathetic attempts to come up with a formal outfit to wear for a show I was in.  Includes my hypothetical red carpet interview with Ryan Seacrest. 
• June 16: Fun at Rummage Sales: People seemed to like this post where I wrote about a 60s-era cookbook I bought at a rummage sale. 
• October 22: Shannon Saves Series: I Made My Own Effing Soap: Just another DIY project gone wrong. 
• November 5: Losing Pinterest: Katie said this post was the funniest one I've ever written.  It's about some of my absurd antics attempting to make stuff I saw on Pinterest. 
• November 7: Hot New Children's Toy: A Box of Garbage: My revelation that trash is actually the greatest treasure, when you're four years old. 
• December 9: 14 Days of Festivity: Day 6: People seemed to take pleasure in my craft FAIL. 

Various Christmas Celebrations

Before I begin, a note to my family and friends: I love you all.  If you or your child(ren) do not appear on my blog, it is not because I don't love you.  Either I can't post your picture because it violates my policy against posting pictures of other people's children (and in some cases it's hard and/or weird to edit a kid out), or maybe the one picture I have of you is blurry.  Or maybe I didn't get a picture of you because I was distracted.  Whatever the reason, do not interpret your absence on my blog as a personal slight.  

Now, onto Christmas. 

When I left off, it was December 24 and we'd just had a celebration with Bill's extended family. 

My sister-in-law Venessa and I had a nice Mexican lunch on the 24th, as part of our pact to have experiences together instead of exchanging material goods. 

Then on the evening of the 24th, we went out to dinner with my mother-in-law.  I forget what the place was called, but they had old-fashioned furniture there for decor, and they had the BEST roll-top desk.  If I didn't live in Illinois, I would probably offer to buy it off of them (except I'm not really the kind of person who does that anyway). 

We went to church on Christmas Eve at my in-laws' church.

Nathan left some cookies for Santa, as well as a carrot for his reindeer.  Santa wrote a thank-you note:

And Santa also filled everybody's stockings:

One of the more talked-about stocking stuffers were these laser lights that you put on your fingers:

Here's Nathan with his magnetic Cars set:

Now, at this point, Christmas took a bit of a turn.  Bill's family had been passing around a stomach virus, and right after opening stockings Bill announced he had been felled by the bug.  So I had to drive us to my mom's house, then Bill spent the rest of the day in bed. 

Meanwhile, Nathan and family friend John opened up their traditional British holiday crackers, which always contain paper crowns:

Another guest at my mom's Christmas dinner was my grandma's lifelong friend Liz.  Grandma and Liz met in kindergarten, were born 11 days apart, and are still BFFs at age 89.  Sweet, right?

This is my brother Tyler, his wife Kasumi, and their baby girl Syndey (obscured by an ornament per my photo policy regarding children):

I scored a major win on the gift I got my stepdad, a t-shirt depicting his favorite You Tube video:

This is my stepdad and my grandpa on the day after Christmas.  My family traditionally goes out to breakfast to celebrate my grandparents' anniversary, which is December 26. 

They have been married 69 years.  They are cute:

Later on the 26th, we drove south to my dad and stepmom's house.  We always do the celebration with them after Christmas.  This year we did it on the 27th. 

One of Nathan's gifts at that celebration was the Wack-a-Mole game.  Here are Nathan and my stepmom whacking various moles:

This is my brother Brian and sister-in-law Laurin, looking festive.  Their baby Sam is sleeping in the stroller on the left:

My dad and stepmom brought them back a ukelele from their recent travels in Tahiti:

And that's all I have for now.