Hot New Children's Toy: A Box of Garbage!

I have never been the type to save random odds and ends. I don't recall ever uttering the phrase We might find a use for that someday in reference to some item that is being considered for disposal. Honestly, when I hear somebody say that, I have trouble understanding where that person is coming from. Why would I want a bunch of garbage cluttering up my home?  Furthermore, I wouldn't ever remember I had that item anyway, so what's the point in saving it? 

But sometimes having a child changes you.  And although I always say that I haven't done anything in my parenting career that I swore I would never do, because my standards had been worn down to ridiculously low through my work as a teacher, I think I have finally found the area of parenting where I've gone back on my word.  I'm pretty sure I swore I would never save random garbage.  And yet, here I am, with a big box in my living room dedicated specifically to discarded items:

Two occurrences precipitated the establishment of the "Invention Box," as we're calling it:

1. Last week we went to the Dr. Seuss exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry, which is a great exhibit that I recommend, but of which I have no photographs because photography isn't allowed in the exhibit.  Anyway, in addition to a large collections of photos and other memorabilia, the exhibit has three toy areas set up for children.  Two of the tables have some type of plastic pieces that you can put together to construct various sculptures and creations (you know, sort of in the genre of Legos, Tinker Toys, or Kinex).  The third table had little laminated pictures that you could juxtapose to make various Seuss-like creations, sort of like those on this Seuss Army Knife seen here:

Photo credit

Now, I was pretty sure that no child ever would want to sit and play with a bunch of laminated pictures, but damn if Nathan didn't spend at least 15 minutes carefully constructing a "machine that does everything," including shooting out marshmallows.  The machine was powered by a person riding a bicycle, and there was a fan installed to cool the person off, but "not so close that it hits you in the head."  So, my first thought was that maybe I should go home and assemble my own set of laminated pictures, but something told me that this was one of those toys where enjoyment was context-specific.  At the museum, surrounded by colorful Dr. Seuss drawings, whimsical music, and tabletops with goofy characters on them, Nathan was in the right mood to play with laminated pictures.  At home, he'd probably cast my laminated pictures aside and ask to play with the iPad. 

But I did think that perhaps I could tap into the "random odds and ends as toys" idea at home.  Nathan does enjoy stacking up various kitchen items.  And he's forever asking me to fashion household items into various playthings, like when we made an action figure zip cord out of tape, a straw, and the drawstring for our vertical blinds.  

Then my idea for an odds and ends box was further supported when ...

2. My mom bought two pairs of boots last week while she was in town, and she said, "Shannon, do you need these shoe boxes for anything, or should I recycle them?"  I was about to say recycle, when Nathan piped in that he wanted them to put his toys in.  Now, although I'm not really a fan of having random shoe boxes of items in my living room, I told him he could keep the boxes until the next recycling day.  But then I saw him using the boxes, not for storage, but as a race car track, and that's when I said, "Hey, we should save garbage for Nathan to play with!"

So as to bring some semblance of organization into the project, we went to Target and bought a plastic box, which Nathan then named the Invention Box. 

Yesterday he immediately got to work making a rocket ship out of an oatmeal canister:

It's piloted by a small bear.

He said to me, "Don't wreck my spaceship, it's really special."  Obviously one has mixed feelings when one's child describes a creation made out of discarded containers as special.  I appreciate his creativity, but are his thousands of dollars worth of commercially-produced toys chopped liver?  

I have similarly mixed feelings about his decision to take the oatmeal spaceship to school for show and tell tomorrow.  On the one hand, I'm super excited that the Invention Box is such a hit.  On the other hand, I'm not sure I'm thrilled with the idea that the staff of Nathan's preschool will think we require him to play with garbage at home because he has no real toys. 

(But mostly I'm just glad he decided what to bring for show and tell, because often this is a very long, drawn-out decision-making process.)  

The next two inventions were a musical instrument made of taped-together plastic cups, and a jet pack that Bill helped make with a piece of cardboard and a 2-liter bottle.  Music!  Science! Look at all the cross-curricular learning going on here!  

The bottle got recycled into this invention, although Nathan doesn't know what it is:

Excellent use of my purple tie-dye duct tape, though. 

Also, pro photography tip: Remove all baskets of unfolded laundry from the background of your photos.

Here's a closer look at some of the random stuff I saved for the box, again featuring that laundry basket:

Now, although he did use that soda bottle twice, one thing I'm learning is that Nathan prefers fresh, new items in the box.  Which is no problem, because we have new trash every day!

The only trouble is, I'm putting way too many items in the box.  Every piece of garbage I find, minus the nasty or dangerous ones, seems like a great new addition to the box.  Yogurt shake containers!  Rags!  The plastic containers my favorite Costco shrimp soup comes in!  

This is like a complete 180 from the old Shannon.  So now I am not, in fact, the Same Old Shannon.  

But even if I do get out of control with the garbage-saving, it's pretty easy to cull the items in the Invention Box.  They are, after all, garbage--and a garbage-collection service visits our house every Wednesday!  And if I don't throw the stuff away, maybe I could appear on Hoarders.  No publicity is bad publicity, right? 

Also, for Christmas this year, Nathan is getting a milk carton.  If he's lucky. 

November of No Name

I can't think of a fun alliterative theme for November.  So, I'm just going with November of No Name.  It's not fun, but it is still alliterative.

Time for everyone's favorite: my monthly goals! 

My goals this month fall into two categories: Organizational and Financial. 

My organizational goal is to go through every problem area in my house and get rid of unwanted belongings.  Christmas is coming up, and that's a time when we will acquire more belongings, so it would be a good idea to clear up some space for those new belongings.  I think it will also be good to unearth some recently-neglected toys and bring them back to Nathan's attention; like getting brand-new toys for free!  The same goes for me and my clothing.

As for my financial goals, I continue to refine my budget-tightening.  After two months of record-keeping and frugality, I am finally ready to take the step of defining specific budgets for specific items.  I'm starting with just two budgetary areas, food and toiletries/household items. 

I have determined wildly optimistic goals for each. 

At the beginning of the month, I took $400 cash out of the ATM.  I put $300 in an envelope for food.  Food is defined in this case as anything you can eat or drink, procured from a store.  My point is, it does not include restaurants or miscellaneous takeout/drive-thru snacks (e.g. Starbucks).  Now, an obvious shortcoming of this plan is that we could easily fall into the trap of We ran out of money in our monthly grocery budget, we'll have to eat out every night, but we do a pretty good job of maintaining the spirit of frugality and limiting our restaurant expenses. 

(In reading over the previous paragraph, I realize I should establish a restaurant/take-out budget, but there are many unpredictable variables in restaurant eating.  Examples: An errand takes longer than planned and you're starving, your friend invites you out, Bill unexpectedly has to work late, and so on.  So I'd rather just keep my restaurant budgeting in the more nebulous range of we'll try to eat at home as much as possible, rather than setting an actual dollar figure.) 

My other budgeting envelope is $100 for toiletries and household expenses.  Again, in my tendency to over-analyze things, I have come up with a lot of questions about what defines a household expense.  If the need for a household repair arises, that will not come out of the $100 (seeing as these things always cost more than $100 anyway).  Household expenses will have to be determined on a case-by-case basis, but I'm thinking things more in the area of light bulbs and batteries.

I have absolutely no faith in my ability to maintain these two budgets, seeing as it's November 6 and we're already halfway through the $300 for groceries (though that is due to our big monthly Costco trip).  I also wonder if it's a bad idea, weight-loss-wise, to limit my grocery budget so severely.  I'm sure we could live for months on the items we have stored in our kitchen, but that doesn't mean we're eating healthfully. 

Oh well, it's good to be aware of what you're spending, at least.

October of Opportunity Recap

I set some October goals back in my October of Opportunity post, and I'm here to report back on how I did with those goals. 

My first goal was to be a more patient wife.  I think I did pretty well on this.  It's obviously not a measurable goal, but I think my self-assessment of my overall satisfaction with my marriage is up, so that's good.  Not to imply that I was dissatisfied with the man in September or anything.  I just wanted to report that I feel happier since trying to become a more patient and supportive wife.  Aren't I just the greatest human who ever lived?

My goal of sticking with Weight Watchers more was sort of successful but sort of not, but mostly not.  To refresh your memory, I reported at the beginning of October that my general tendency was to start the Weight Watchers week on Monday, full of discipline and willpower, but to fall apart by Wednesday.  My goal for October was to at least stick it out until Thursday of every week.  Except, I at some points in October I found myself randomly turning on the willpower on Fridays, but losing it on Mondays.  Point is, I didn't stick with my everything-starts-fresh-on-Mondays pattern, so it was hard to say if I stuck with my "keep it together until Thursday" goal.  But obviously my goal was to go 4 days in a row without a Weight Watchers mishap, and that did not happen.  And my weight is up.  So I'd mostly assess this goal as a fail.  I remain dedicated to improvement, but honestly I'm just tired of talking about Weight Watchers, so there will not be a weight-based goal this month.

I also said I was going to log 20 workouts, but I forgot to keep track.

I said I was going to drink more tea, which I did.  Easiest goal ever.

I had a goal of getting a new job, and that didn't happen, but I am working on it.  I do think that in October I clarified my goals a little more in terms of what I want to do with my career, namely that I need to accept that it might be time to get a full-time job again.

Oh, and I was supposed to finish up my murder mystery script for the community theater, but that show got canceled, so there goes that goal.

My most successful goal in October was the one about tightening up our budget.  As I said, I had a sort of nebulous goal of finding 10 ways to save money each week.  But as I also said, it is sort of hard to define/measure a "way to save money."  I think I nailed it in spirit, though, as much as you can nail something in spirit.  (That sounds like a bad necrophilia joke.)

Below is a list of some of the ways we saved money in October.  I'm not suggesting that any of them are new or innovative, and quite frankly the first two sound so snobby that I kind of want to smack myself.

1. I cut back on going to Trainer Jill once a week instead of two.  Again, if that isn't the most elitist snobby money-saving suggestion, I don't know what is.  Like, Hey, I don't know why you're struggling so much financially, people on We Are the 99%, you just need to cut back your personal training time.  I fully acknowledge that having the ability to hire a personal trainer is an incredible luxury, and I feel very guilty about it when there are people who can't afford to buy milk. But the fact remains that cutting back on training was a way I saved money in October, so I'm listing it here.

2. I raked my own leaves.  Again, I feel like this sounds snobby, but we have a lawn service that mows our lawn.  In October and November they rake the leaves, but they charge something like $4 per barrel for the leaves.  (I don't recall how big the barrel is.)  Last year it cost us $120 to have our leaves raked.  So this year I elected to rake our own leaves.  I spent $7 on a new rake, $9 on the paper yard waste bags required by our garbage collection company, and $6 on a cardboard "Baggin' Buddy" to prop up the bags.  So I guess our net savings was about $100.  I feel very awkward admitting that I did not heretofore rake my own leaves, so let me attempt to break the tension with an attempt at comedic levity concerning the Baggin' Buddy:

I cannot possibly pass the Baggin' Buddy in my garage without thinking about baggin' in the 80's slang sense, meaning to insult.  As in, "Why you gotta bag?"  And I think about this piece of cardboard that helps you with raking leaves and insulting others:

3. Slightly less humorously, I called AT&T and switched to cheaper phone and Internet plans.  Actually, they're more or less the same plans we had before, but AT&T does not make it a point to call you and alert you to the fact that the price of your existing plan has been lowered.  You have to call them.  Who knew?  Additionally, it seems the rate you get depends on who you talk to at AT&T, which makes no sense.  When I told AT&T Employee #2 that AT&T employee #1 had quoted me a lower rate, Employee #2 asked, "Why didn't you just take her rate?"  Hello?!  You work for the same company!!

4. I started buying groceries at Aldi.  This was possibly our biggest money-saver this month.  Not only that, I feel my life has improved tremendously now that I am not doing the bulk of my shopping at grocery conglomerate Jewel.  Aldi just seems like so much less of a production.

5. I bought a bunch of stuff in bulk at Costco.  I'm not totally clear that Costco saved us money.  Obviously you can do a point-to-point comparison on particular items at Costco vs. another store, but it's difficult to really calculate whether or not you saved money overall.  The expense at Costco is a lot up front, but you might save money over the course of several months.  Oh well, if nothing else, you can fall back on the fact that Costco does save you time. 

6. I bought generic tampons.  Yeah.  (Except they were Target's Up & Up brand, which I suspect is just made in the same factory as the name brands anyway.) 

7. I focused more on coupons and scouring sales ads.  I still contend that coupons aren't really the best way to save money, because you always save more on either generic (see #6 above) or whatever brand is on sale that week.  But occasionally there's something I have to buy in the name brand, like Nathan's Silk soy milk that he must have in the purple kind (vanilla, but different somehow from the vanilla kind in the blue or green carton), and so I like to look for coupons for that.

8. Bill and I both practiced iron-clad discipline at Target.  Target is a dangerous store.  You go in for toilet paper, but then while you're there you see laundry detergent, and you figure you're running low on that so you'll pick something up, and then you realize you should pick up some toothpaste, too, and then Look at that cute sweater!  I need a sweater!  Oh yeah, Nathan loves these frozen taquitos!  And let me stock up on greeting cards for everybody who has a birthday in the next two months!  And aww, are those not the cutest decorations for [insert upcoming holiday here]?!  Then you get to the register and it's never less than like $100.  That can be a problem when you're going to Target twice a week.  So this past month, we made it a point to go to Target and not come back with more than the few necessary items on our list.  (Well, okay, sometimes I bent the rules for fruit.)  Now we walk out of Target for $20 instead of $100. 

9. We tried harder to practice the old WWII motto of "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."  Which, okay, can I pause here and show the poster I found with this motto?

Am I the only one who thinks that it looks like she's spanking him?  Was there nobody at the WWII poster-making office place with a mind in the gutter?  Also, she wouldn't make him take off the pants before she repaired them?  

But all implications of corporal punishment/weird fetishes aside, it is a good motto.  I admit that in the past I have not done a great job with this particular motto, especially when it comes to food waste.  It's very difficult to predict our exact food needs for the week, so if, for example, suddenly my husband filled up on free food at an afternoon reception at work, the food I planned to make goes to waste.  Obviously one day of this sort of thing happening is not going to cause massive food spoilage, but add in a couple of weekend nights where I suddenly don't feel like cooking, and pretty soon you have wilted asparagus and expired chicken.  Another problem is the half-used item, like the half an onion or the half a jar of pasta sauce, which I put in the refrigerator with good intentions, but just end up throwing away when I buy more groceries the next week.  But this month, I worked harder to make use of it all.  When I only needed half an onion, I chopped it up the other half and froze it.  Ditto with the extra enchilada sauce.  When I only needed to make two turkey burgers, I used the rest of the ground turkey to make meatballs, and I froze them for future pasta nights or as a topping for homemade pizza. 

10. Of the 93 meals I ate in October, only 4 were at restaurants.  And one of those somebody else paid for.  "Sponge off others" is always a good money-saving tip.

11. I went to Starbucks once the whole month.  Nathan and I never went to Dunkin' Doughnuts.  I carried around a water bottle so I wouldn't be tempted to buy a drink during errands.  

12. I didn't buy any new clothes or shoes the whole month.  Which is obviously not a plan that is going to work forever, but I think taking a step back from consumerism once in awhile is a good idea.   

13. I didn't spend a single cent at iTunes.  I got all my music at the library.  I didn't buy any magazines.  I did buy one book for my Kindle, but I didn't read it because various library materials arrived for me, so I like to think that the Kindle expenditure is something I can spread across several months.  

14. Instead of buying greeting cards, I had Nathan make them.  He loves crafts anyway, so making cards keeps him occupied.  And we already had the paper, so it's better for the environment than purchasing more paper goods.  

15. I cashed in all our spare change at Coinstar in exchange for Amazon credit.  This isn't really something that saved us money, since technically we already had that money, but it is making better use of resources. 

Unfortunately, October is the month that our car insurance is due, and the month of the gigantic property tax bill, so we still had to dip into our savings.  But you'd better believe that I made maximum use of those parks and libraries that my tax dollars funded. 

Losing Pinterest

Look, I think Pinterest is a great idea.  Your virtual bulletin boards are a wonderful way to organize links to ideas you find online.  If somebody recommends a book, I go over to Amazon and pin that book to my "Books to Read" board.  If I find a great recipe that I want to save, it's certainly easier to put it on my "Recipes" board than to print it out or email it to myself.  And nothing beats a little online pinning of clothing, accessories, and household decor: It's like shopping, only it's free!

But, as you can imagine would happen in a situation where a person has access to the entire contents of the Internet, and the ability to share it with everyone she knows, Pinterest has gotten a little out of control.

I guess I should speak for myself.  Pinterest has gotten a little out of control for me. 

The problem, specifically, stems from the DIY crafts and projects I see on there.  I feel like I can do the DIY crafts and projects. 

I cannot.

This pretty much sums up my Pinterest-based DIY experiences thus far:

I could show you similar Pinterest-to-Shannon Project Comparison photos, but mine aren't as funny in that they don't feature a beloved Sesame Street character. 

But, make no mistake about it, my DIY projects are all metaphorical big blobs of blue frosting with misshapen eyes. 

I've already said a lot about the soap-making failure.  This woman here claimed to have made four quarts of soap from one grated-up bar of soap.  (WARNING: Her blog is one of those annoying blogs that plays music.  Curse you, music-playing blogs.)  Well, you can go read my original post from a few days ago to see an unnecessary thorough analysis of my soap-making, but just as an UPDATE: When I finally poured the soap into the dispensers, Bill insisted upon making what can only be described as an emergency run to Target to buy commercially-produced soap. 

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL.

Another time I tried to make these vases:

This lady promises that all you do is drizzle some acrylic paint inside some old jars, and voila! you have these darling vintage-y looking vases.  Are they not the cutest?!

Now, the reason I screwed up this particular project was that I used latex paint instead of acrylic, and apparently there's a huge difference.  But I had leftover latex paint, whereas I would have had to go buy acrylic paint, and that would sort of destroy the whole "look what I just whipped up with stuff I already had" nature of the project, and also then it would not perfectly match the walls/furniture that the paint was left over from.  Anyway, I did not end up with the adorable collection of coordinating flower receptacles with the vintage pottery aesthetic.  I ended up with a gloppy mess of streaky jars that got paint rings all over my lawn, and also the paint wasn't waterproof (which is kind of an important quality in a vase).  Again, this failure was totally my fault, but the point is I should not even be trying these types of projects, and it's all the fault of Pinterest that they came into my existence.

Perhaps the problem is that suddenly we all have access to random people's DIY blogs, and since we don't have any history with these people, we don't really know if we can trust them to recommend a regular craft that a normal person can do.  But the fact that your friend Suzy repinned it suddenly gives you the impression that you're getting a personal recommendation, even when all Suzy did was click a button.  She didn't actually try the craft herself. 

And I'm not knocking Suzy, seeing as she's a fictional person in a hypothetical example, because I, too, am guilty of pinning projects that turn out to be total flops.  For example, I pinned, and several people subsequently repinned, this tutorial for making your own Moon Sand.  The woman who wrote the tutorial went and bought some colorful, super-fine sand for her project:

But she insisted you could use any sand, so we went out and scooped out 6 cups of grainy, ugly gray sand from our sandbox, dumped in the remaining 2/3 of a box of cornstarch, and added some water.  What resulted was a pile of grainy wet sand.  Nathan just looked at me like, What the hell am I supposed to do with this? and so I dumped it out and then had to go buy another box of cornstarch. 

Then there are the ideas that seem great upon first inspection, until you realize that they actually make no sense.  Like the upcycled jeans pocket magnetic notepad holder:

At first I'm like, "Hey, cute!" (except for those hideous appliques).  But then I realize that I have never, ever had a spare jeans pocket lying around.  All my old jeans are either waiting in the closet for me to lose enough weight to fit into them again, or else given to the Salvation Army.  All Nathan's old jeans are handed down to other kids.  Additionally, I have never had a problem figuring out where to store a notepad and pencil, especially since magnetic notepads aren't all that hard to come by. 

Upcycling is really huge on Pinterest.  I never want to see another craft made of light bulbs or paint chips again.  Aren't paint stores getting frustrated that their entire paint chip supplies are being decimated by intrepid Pinners?  

Also, ideas on Pinterest are almost always described as genius.  This description is an insult to actual geniuses. 

I think there should be a Pinterest drinking game, where you have to do a shot every time somebody uses the word genius, upcycle, or brilliant, until you eventually upcycle your lunch. 

But since I do still love Pinterest, I've created a few new pins of my own.  Feel free to repin!

First, a project in the spirit of upcycling:

 oatmeal canister + 2 cans + egg carton = this

And here's a genius craft idea for kids:

 Print coloring pages off the Internet and have your kid color them.  

And after my DIY debacles, I have to share this brilliant idea:

 

Instead of wasting ridiculous amounts of time and energy making your own toiletries, just go to a store and buy them.  

And everybody loves the sayings:

In conclusion, I'd like to say that my checkered past with Pinterest-based projects will not deter me from trying at least one pinned project for Christmas.  Of course, I'm already way behind.  It's been Christmas on Pinterest for months now. 

Nate the Great?

Shannon is not a name with any obvious nicknames, so I have never experienced firsthand the sort of identity issues that come with nicknames.  But in observing others with nickname-having names, I find there's a continuum.  On one end is the Cindy who is never, ever called Cynthia except in the most formal of records.  On the other end is Robert, who you can call Bob in social settings, but who is Robert on his Facebook account, his outgoing voicemail message, and the nameplate outside his cubicle.  And everybody falls somewhere in between.  Plus there are the people who never want to be called by a nickname: My name is Patricia, and you may not call me Pat. 

As you can see, there are a lot of issues surrounding nicknames, and I wasn't sure I wanted my kid to have a nickname-able name.  On the one hand, it's nice to have the option of what to be called in formal vs. informal situations, and a formal name conveys a certain gravitas.  Additionally, since you have a name your whole life, it's nice to have the flexibility of a kid-appropriate version of your name (Tommy) and a respectable adult nickname (Tom).  (Though in the case of many traditional male names, I find that about half the people keep the kiddie version of their names until they're too old, and the other half get saddled too young with a name that suggests a middle-aged CPA.) 

On the other hand, nicknames present a lot of awkward social situations.  It's hard for Richard to tell his boss that he doesn't like being called Rick. Or Rebecca has an aversion to Becky because that was the name of the annoying girl in first grade. 

In the end, there are pros and cons to nicknames.  But I decided not to consider issues of nicknames when naming my child, and instead just focus on the names that Bill and I could agree on.  (Or actually, that should be name, singular, because we could only agree on one.)  I reasoned that you don't have much control over what others end up calling your kid anyway, because you always run the risk of your kid getting called something completely unrelated to his actual name, such as Sparky.  As the baby-name book actually warned, Dwight Eisenhower's mother named him Dwight so he wouldn't be called by a nickname, and everybody ended up calling him Ike. 

In the end, we decided that we would call Nathan by his full name, but if he eventually ended up being called Nate at school, we wouldn't have a problem with it. 

But then he ended up being called Nate at school, and I kind of do have a tiny problem with it. 

See, when I picked Nathan up at school yesterday, the teacher informed me that he was now Nate, because a new student named Lathan had joined the class, and there was too much confusion between the similar names. 

Now, I think part of my problem was just with the whole presentation of the thing: "Hi, we've decided to change your child's name."  Another part of my problem is that the name Lathan is a stupid, made-up bastardization of a real name.  I have talked about this particular name before.  And also, given that Lathan is the newcomer, why does Nathan have to change his name?  Why can't Lathan just be called Late? 

Nathan himself has no problem with the whole situation, because last year his preschool teacher jokingly called him Nate, in an effort to make him crack a smile once in awhile (remember, he got needs improvement on "I am cheerful and happy at school"), and so it became a bit of an inside joke between them. 

And since Nathan isn't upset about the whole "You are now Nate" thing, and since I am not going to complain to a teacher unless I feel my child's actual physical/emotional/educational welfare is at stake, I'm just going to stand back and see how this all plays out.  I figure the teachers have taken enough flack from the other parents, and I really just want them to like me.  (I've talked about that problem before, too.) 

But still, it's weird, right? 

Too Much?

There was another little caveat to the end-of-soccer story I told yesterday, but I didn't want to ruin the cute celebratory pictures and optimistic tone with my pointless anger. 

But everybody loves pointless anger, right? 

(Also I might as well split the whole soccer thing up into two posts, seeing as I'm about 15 posts behind on my 365 goal.  You're lucky I don't start a new post for each separate sentence.) 

Anyway, I was talking about soccer.  Here's how it all went down:

Toward the end of the season, two other moms and I began discussing the end-of-season celebration.  We figured we'd have a low-key gathering on the field right after the last game, during which the kids would get their trophies, the coach would get his gift, pictures would be taken, snacks would be eaten ... and then soccer season would be over.  After all, these are four- and five-year-old boys; they would neither expect nor enjoy some big formal banquet.  And, as much as we all enjoyed and appreciated the soccer league, I think we were all ready to close the door on this year's soccer season.  Plus, we especially didn't need another big evening celebration the week of Halloween. 

Now, full disclosure, we did not consult the rest of the team's parents on the nature of the end-of-season party.  (Though it probably is worth noting that one of the moms who made the tri-lateral decision with me was the Team Mom.)  However, we figured nobody would have a problem with an essentially free gathering after a game they already had to be at anyway. 

So, to facilitate this easy gathering, I offered to bring doughnuts.  My friend Tabitha offered to bring juice.  Team Mom Vickie sent out an email to the rest of the team's parents, announcing the post-game gathering and telling parents they were free to contribute additional snacks to the party. 

Naturally, there was dissent.  One mom wondered why we couldn't have an evening dinner gathering at Culver's or Aurelio's Pizza.  So, Vickie, being kind-hearted and accommodating, threw out the issue for discussion. 

And, I, being petty and pointlessly angry, started to have a problem with the whole thing. 

The pettiest part of my anger stemmed from being offended by the fact that somebody would dare to have a problem with the stupid little party that my friends and I planned without consulting everybody.  And sure, given my recent measures of austerity, I didn't want to pay for an additional meal out after I already spent $20 on doughnuts for everybody. 

But, I think some of my frustration was part of a bigger-picture issue.  And bigger-picture issues are what good blog posts are made of.  So here goes:

Are celebrations getting too out-of-control for today's kids? 

Now, I'm not suggesting that I'm the first person ever to come up with this question.  You can't throw a virtual stick in the mom blogosphere without hitting a post where somebody complains about how out-of-control children's birthday parties have become, or somebody questions whether this level of fanfare over [insert occasion here] is really necessary. 

So while I wasn't the first person to address this problem of excessive celebration, I am bringing it up now because this is the first time that I myself have become concerned about it. 

Sure, I read about out-of-control birthday parties.  But I live in a fairly modest suburb where we mostly keep our celebrations under control, and I just figured if wealthy people in other areas wanted to have out-of-control celebrations, that was their business and I was fine with it if they could afford it. 

And, yes, I observed the ante slowly being upped for other occasions, even where I live.  More and more, families were contributing entire little goody bags for every holiday at Nathan's preschool.  Martha Stewart is advocating gifts for every single day of Advent.  Easter, Halloween, Valentine's Day--these are all occasions where children now get actual gifts instead of just candy.  And with the number of activities and celebrations, it sometimes feels like there's a separate little mini "holiday season" surrounding Halloween and Easter now, too.  Even the fact that we provide snacks at every single soccer game seems a tad coddling. 

But I took it all in stride.  I recognized that I was perpetuating the problem just as much as anybody else was, so I had no right to complain.  Yeah, it's excessive, but I don't have a strong enough backbone to go all rogue and boycott holidays.  And for the most part, I think these celebrations are fun.  I happily go to children's birthday parties, delighting in the opportunity to see kids having fun together.  I like Halloween parties, pumpkin patches, and Easter egg hunts.  I recognize that these activities are voluntary, and that I could skip them if I wanted to. 

Bottom line, I never had a problem with the types of celebrations that kids today participate in.  Sure, I hear people all the time saying things to the effect of, "When I was a kid, you got [insert piddly token] on [insert occasion] and you liked it.  These kids today are spoiled!"  And, whether or not these sorts of statements were accurate, I just shrugged them off.  Things are different for every generation.  Some things are better, like the fun celebrations.  But some things are worse, like the constant terror over child predators.  You take the good with the bad.  It's not better or worse these days; it's just different. 

However, when we start assuming that children will be disappointed if we don't have a special, separate dinner gathering to celebrate the end of soccer, I've finally been pushed to my limit.  I'm now officially an old fuddy-duddy, a buzz kill, and a party pooper. 

So, this probably comes as no surprise, but our family skipped the Culver's gathering.  But what may or may not come as a surprise is that I agonized over this decision.  Was I doing Nathan a disservice by making him skip the party because of my own petty disagreements?  What would the other parents think? 

And really, the two driving forces between all these excessive celebrations are I don't want my child to feel deprived and I worry about what the other parents will think.  Which, honestly, are two forces to which I never hoped to succumb, but there it is. 

(Let me also acknowledge a much more minor, but still significant, driving force: If Target sells this particular item to celebrate this particular holiday, it must be A Thing now and I must buy it.) 

I'm not suggesting that I've come to any great conclusions RE: the whole excessive celebration thing.  I'd like to resolve that Nathan is only getting repurposed, decorated rocks instead of action figures this Christmas!  And for his birthday, we will invite three friends to come over and play Pin the Tail on the Donkey, and the donkey will be drawn on the back of an old cereal box! 

But it's not going to happen.  For Christmas I'll buy him a bunch of colorful plastic toys, and for his birthday we'll have a fun celebration at an outside-our-home facility so that I won't have to cook or clean.  Because my parents took those measures to make my childhood special, and I will do the same for Nathan. 

However, in the spirit of gradual change, I do think my new awareness of/aversion to our society's excessive celebrations will guide some of my decisions regarding future celebrations.  Maybe I can buy him one fewer Christmas gifts.  Maybe I can spend less on the goody bags for his birthday party.  Maybe all children really need to have fun is a place where they can run around and poke at each other. 

And, above all else, we all need to remember that nothing we do or don't do regarding holiday celebrations is going to scar our children for life. 

Oh and also, soccer ended

The Purple Dogs had their last soccer game of the season, which meant it was trophy time!

It's hard to see, but the trophy has a tiny little swiveling soccer ball in it.  

Team photo:

Post-season celebration doughnuts:

All in all, our soccer experience was a positive one, which is not something I was sure I'd be saying when the season started.  Nathan went from complete oblivion to outright disgust to actual participation, finally settling into the large majority of kids who run after the ball but seldom make contact with it. 

Since all I wanted was for him to have fun, interact with other kids, and get tired, I'm satisfied with our soccer experience.  Nathan, however, is hell-bent on improving so he can score a goal next season.  He has been running in the park because he says he'll need to improve his running speed.  He promised the coach he would practice every day until next season, which, you know, hasn't exactly happened, but whatever, his diligence is cute.   

In an attempt to achieve Nathan's goal of soccer improvement and my goal of energy-burning, I signed him up for a little weekly soccer clinic in the park district gym down the street.  It starts Monday. 

I would also like to say that we really lucked out with the coach and the other parents.  I personally witnessed a lot of yelling on the part of other teams' coaches and parents who had lost perspective on the fact that this was a soccer league for four-year-olds that didn't even keep score.  I'm glad we didn't have any Yelly McYellersons on our team. 

So, soccer was good.  Soccer is over.  The end.